Goddess of the week: Bast

Image via WikipediaLindsay would like a goddess for stress relief and general well being. I'm giving her the Egyptian moon goddess Bast.

Bast had the head of a cat the body of a woman.  She used to have the head of a lion, but she got downsized.  What she lost in strength and status, however, she made up for in the ability to dominate furniture and have mortals meet her every whim.

She had this annual festival that attracted over 700,000 people a year.  It was very "Bridesmaids," and I know how much you like that movie.  Women would eat, dance, sing and generally participate in what Wikipedia calls "feasts of drunkenness."  It was epic (which is the new awesome, by the way).

Bast would bless revelers with coupons for free massages and weekend crafting/writing retreats, but--and this is important--she never gave coupons to overachievers who were all anal about laundry and/or work.  As with most goddesses, she realized that general well being came from an internal spark, or drive, to sometimes sacrifice the annoying little responsibilities that join together to wrap around us and choke us like cobras.  Break the cords of perfectionism and do-everythingism that weigh you down, Lindsay!  Get your girlfriends and revel.  Revel that cobra right into the ground.  And when you are done, get that massage, dammit.  And tell your kids to put their damn breakfast dishes in the damn dishwasher.  You're not their servant!

Bast reminds us to give into pleasure and fun, and to remember that you can't wait around for fun to find you.  You have to make it yourself.

Channel this goddess: when you need a break, when you need to relax and have fun.  When you need to laugh.


Need a goddess: I got goddesses: Post a comment explaining your need or want.  Then check back in a few weeks and see what you got.

True Story: Balls and Cookies

Image by ifindkarma via FlickrI took my daughters to church yesterday.  After the service, my older girl went to volunteer with the preschoolers, which she does once a month.  To kill time, my younger girl and I walked over to this very excellent bakery.  We bought some cookies, enough to share with some friends also killing time at church,  and we went back to wait for Older Girl.

We were eating cookies and talking when another friend started to walk by.  I said, "Hey, Jim, wanna cookie?"

Jim didn't hear me.  But some other guy I've never seen in my life did hear me.  Instantly, he was at my side staring in my bakery box.  "Yes," he said.  "I'd love one."  His fingers danced over the cookies.  "Hmmm...which one...I'll have this."  He pulled out this gorgeous, enormous mocha cookie, took a bite, and walked away.  "Thank you very much."

I stood there, mouth open, speechless (which was, perhaps, a first).  Finally, I managed, "I've never seen that guy in my life.  He took my mocha cookie."

Curious conversation ensued, but no one else seemed quite as flabbergasted as I was.  I even said, "I'm flabbergasted."

Younger Girl, embarrassed AT ME, because, obviously, I am the one who should be embarrassed, said, "That's not even a word."

Goddess of the Week: Antevorta

Image via WikipediaStar needs a goddess for "focusing on what lies ahead, rather than behind."  She needs the Roman goddess Antevorta.

Antevorta was the goddess of the future, and her sister, Postvorta, was the goddess of the past.  Their big job was to help women in childbirth.  If the baby was coming head first, you called Antevorta; if it was coming feet first you called Postvorta.

You would think Antevorta and Postvorta would see themselves as being on the same team.  After all, the past and the future are directly related.  But they were sisters and goddesses, which meant drama, drama, drama.

Antevorta was always saying she'd do things "tomorrow," but then, with her, there was always another tomorrow so she never did anything, which made Postvorta totally mad because she always ended up having to clean up after Antevorta.  And, of course, Postvorta could never let anything go because she was always living in the past.  It was a bad scene.  Their poor mother, Carmenta.  She was the goddess of prophesy, so not only did she have to endure their endless bickering, but she had to constantly foresee it!

Carmenta tried sending them to different boarding schools--which she finally understood the purpose of by the way--even though she totally knew it wouldn't work out.  Antevorta got kicked out for never turning in her homework, and Postvorta got kicked for always trying to turn in the same term paper.  But at least Carmenta had a semester of peace.

Finally, when they were like in their forties, the sisters worked it out.  They realized their lives only had meaning in relationship to their joint ability to torment their mother.  Plus, people seemed to want their help with the whole baby thing, and since most babies were born head first, Postvorta felt secretly vindicated because Antevorta always had way more work to do, which was cool with Antevorta because she never remembered helping all those other women anyway.

Antevorta reminds us that the future is a like a strong wind.  You need to lean into it headfirst.  Do that, and your feet (like the past) will follow.

Channel this goddess: when the past is holding you back.  Remember, you don't have to let go of the past--who can do that, anyway?  You just can't let it dominate you.  You need to lean into the wind and walk forward.  


Need a goddess?  I got goddesses!  Post a comment telling me what you need or want a goddess for.  I'm swamped with work, but I promise I'll get you one as soon as I can (probably a week or three).

Goddess of the Week: Venus

...Daisy...needs a "heartwarming" goddess, which I take to mean a goddess who'll provide comfort during hard times.

This was a tough one.  As I so often say, goddesses tend to be pretty kick ass.  It's not that they don't feel empathy.  Most have been through tough times, themselves; it's that they don't have time for wallowers.  And, personally, when I am needing comfort, I tend to be wallowing in self pity, and that just doesn't sell with goddesses.  Goddesses will help you, but they need to see the fight in you.

And if you've got some fight, a go-to goddess is Venus, the Roman goddess of Love.  She had this son, Aeneus.  Long story short, he was a Trojan who escaped the final days of the Trojan War and made his way to Italy, where his descendants founded the Roman Empire.  People tend to focus on Venus's romantic exploits, but she was a good mom to Aeneus.  She was really committed to him, and she helped him out whenever things got bad, and they did often.  His wife died; his other wife killed herself because he left her to found an empire and then both wives sort of haunted him.  It was a bad scene.  But Aeneus never gave up, which is one reason Venus worked so hard on his behalf.  In fact, when Aeneus died, Venus washed his body in the river of immortality, fed him ambrosia (not easy cuz he was dead), and convinced Jupiter to make Aeneus a god.  She loved her son, and she loved his empire.  She became known as Venus Genetrix, Venus the mother, and she looked down upon and cared for the Roman people in time of need.

But you don't need to be Roman to call on her.  You just need to have a little fight left, and...Daisy...of course you have fight left!  You are a daughter of Venus!  Of all people, she will definitely comfort and help you.

Channel this goddess: When you are tempted to wallow!  No wallowing allowed.  Stand up!  Put on your boxing gloves and get out there!  You can do it!  You can have it!   You can be it!  Now go!


Need a godddess?  I got goddesses!  Post a comment explaining what you need or want a goddess for.  Then check back in a few weeks to see what you got.  Easy Peasy!