Per #11 on the list below, I give you Ninkasi, the Sumerian goddess who invented beer and has been worshipped in deed, if not word, ever since.
I'm crazy grading papers for another few days so no Ninkasi magic for me. But here is an ancient tribute to Ninkasi that was discovered in the remains of ancient Sumer. I posted this last November, so you might remember it, but I think the timelessness of it bears repeating.
Hymn to Ninkasi
From the land of sky blue waters,
Comes the beer refreshing.
Have you, perchance, a wedge of lime?
Why? Oh, why,
Do you fatten my thighs,
You of stars and moon and many carbs?
I will worship you with this:
But never with a juice box,
for cardboard paired with tiny straws are anathema to your lips.
Surely, surely, worshipping you with a juice box
Would bring a plague upon my house for seven generations,
And rightly so.
And because Ninkasa,
Rhymes slightly-kind of-sort of with piñata,
I will also worship you on Cinco De Mayo,
And Superbowl Sunday,
And just football season in general,
And, in Germany, in the entire month of October.
And every college dormitory will be your temple,
Because that is what you demand,
And who am to argue with a goddess?