6/11/13

Top eleven ways to avoid going crazy when the kids are out of school

1. Just admit that you WILL go crazy. Let go of the pressure to stay sane right now. It will make you a little more flexible.

2.  Invest in a hobby that your children hate, but that they also fear you are secretly trying to get them to do--like gardening--thus making them keep their distance whenever you are doing it and granting you a little more personal time.

3.  Make your children clean your house. Their pent up energy leads to your nervous breakdown.

4.  Play show tunes when cleaning up your dinner dishes, thus driving everyone away and granting you even more personal time.

5.  Netflix for you. I particularly enjoy the absurdist humor of this little British gem.

6.  Netflix for them. The AMA recommends no more than one hour of screen time per day for your child, but the AMA does not have to live with your child, does it? My teen particularly enjoys this cultish favorite.

7. Get up crazy early (before the children) and do something creative. Write a blog maybe? If they are sleeping, you can have even more personal time.

8.  Insist on very early bedtimes. (see #7)

9.  Get out of the damn house! Inertia will pull on all of you, but you must resist the siren call to just hang around. GO SOMEWHERE! ANYWHERE! Promises of frozen yogurt are often effective counterweights to inertia.

10.  Make this the summer of family scrapbooking! Walk everywhere with an actual camera. Your children--since they hate to have their pictures taken--will flee whenever they see you coming, thus granting you a little more personal time.

11. Wine.  In the words of Dorothy Parker: "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

10 comments:

Olga said...

There are some very valuable tips here. Grab all the personal time you can.

Desiree said...

Resistance is futile--fortunately mine now drive and can escape me!

Cafe Pasadena said...

Leave them with your in-laws while you leave on vacation is not 1 of Finnegan's Top 11 ways???

Country Girl said...

Camp is one of my favorites, but my teenager wants to paint his room this summer too!

Pasadena Adjacent said...

you could sign up for a ceramics class and join me

Margaret said...

PA: Where and when? Sounds fun!

Tony Van Helsing said...

If you like The IT Crowd have a look at Father Ted by the same writer. It's wonderful.

Margaret said...

Oh, Tony, I will. I love The IT Crowd.

altadenahiker said...

I once escorted an IT group to the Philippines to meet a bunch of supermodels selling the benefits of outsourcing our technology overseas. On a scale of 1 to 1000, want to guess how embarrassing that turned out to be?

I love IT Crowd, but it hurts to watch.

Petrea Burchard said...

Personal time, schmersonal time. My husband's working at home these days.