7/5/13

More Horrible Shoes

Vacation brought so many joys, including the spying of more horrible shoes! Enjoy!!
 If the spiky things don't impale you, the toe and the heel will do you in. I worry: in this American obesity epidemic can these heels be trusted?

 This pink number seems to want to have it both ways: Girls gone wild and girls gone burka. Make up your mind. Either full-on toe cleavage or just be a boot already.

 Again, spiky things. Why? Why?
Number one in ugly!

 Ok. I'm declaring the era of leopard print over. Also these clunky high heel things: over. So, over and over.
 Flaming eyeballs. Please promise me that we are not at the beginning of a flaming eyeball phase.
Nike? I say No-ke! They are actually a covered heel. So what are we thinking here? Are we supposed to exercise in heels? Only Cat Woman can do that, and she wouldn't be seen dead in these.

But if you disagree, you can find any of these at the Nordstrom Fashion Island in Newport, California.

Seen any horrible shoes that can match the flaming eyeballs? Do let me know. 

14 comments:

L.W.Roth, said...

I can't imagine which shoe store you were in--it must have been a shoe museum of outrageous styles rock stars wear and stupid rock star wannabes go for. It's interesting to shoe watch these days. It's so obvious who among us has mental inssues--and who the disabled will be years down the line.

Cathy Perlmutter said...

I liked the eyeball shoes! They're healthy. And they're certainly the best of what you showed. I may get myself a pair. They make an important statement, which is, um, don't text and walk at the same time lest your eyeballs get bloodshot and/or you are hit by a car crossing the street.

TheChieftess said...

Nordstrom's??? R-E-A-L-L-Y???? That's my shoe store of choice because they're the only store that regularly has my size...(as in B-I-G!!!) I didn't even wear those heels when I was into heels!!!

Olga said...

Oh, dear, More shoes. I am genetically programmed to be the wearer of sensible shoes. My jaw literally drops when I see someone in very high heels or platforms. I have never sent in my swab for that genetic testing, but I don't think I have that much of a lesbian tendency or Lebanese heritage (TY SNL). I do suffer the delusion (according to ignorant family members who shall remain nameless) that my naked feet are quite hot.

altadenahiker said...

So shoot me -- I have a hankering for the silver hightops.

Shell Sherree said...

Please do this again, Margaret. You have a gift for writing about sartorial inelegance. Mind you, I'd be mildly tempted to take the 'girls gone wild gone burka' if it came in black. Not sure what that says about me.

Petrea Burchard said...

Margaret, when I see hideous shoes, I think of you.

Daisy said...

Some (most?) of these just plain make my feet hurt! I'm in the "sensible shoe" class. But they are interesting. The eyeballs look like fun!

Star said...

I think that this trend of the last few years to studs, spikes, holes, and bits of fur and this and that patched together is an expression of the disintegration of our culture, it's the barbarian within let across the Danube of our inner selves. Rome fell, and we're on our way. Ain't I cheery?!

Ms M said...

Great review! Now I know what to look out for when I go shopping for shoes. :-)

Susan Campisi said...

If this were a competition for most hideous shoe, I honestly would be stumped which shoe should win. Who wears these?! On second thought, don't tell me. I'm afraid to find out.

TheChieftess said...

I saw a woman today who was wearing 5 inch heals with a platform... Watching her walk was both painful and yet quite humorous!!! Anything over 3 inches totally defeats the purpose!!! Goofy does not equal sexy!!!

Mimmy Loftin said...

hey the first pair weren't bad! at least the heel was doable!

Hilario said...

Awesome!