8/26/13

Madam Margaret Reads Your Future

Today I am reading your tarot cards. I thought only of you when
pulling these, so, you know, take this as gospel.

The first card, The Sun, represents your past. According to my Housewife Tarot Instruction Book, the sun is all about happiness, clarity and optimism. It is also a major arcana card, which means this is a big influence on who you are. So that's the good news. Your sunny disposition is what we all love!

The Magician represents your present, and I'm a little worried. The Magician is about illusions but also charm. Here's the other troubling news: This is also a major arcana card. So...if you are the Magician then I'm concerned that you are using your sunny disposition to screw us over. But I'm on to you! So don't try your charming ways with me, although, you know, it was nice of you to notice that I'm rocking my awesome new hat. Now. If you AREN'T The Magician, then, bad news, who is? I'm just saying. Look around and don't lend out your jewelry.

The Four of Swords represents your future. This is minor arcana card (you can tell because it is numbered), and so it deals with more fleeting, everyday issues. This card is telling you that you may have a fleetingly tough time ahead (no doubt because you lent your jewels) and that you are going to need a massage, for sure. At the very least, you will need to hide out in the bathroom and give yourself a facial mask so that you can reclaim your sunny spirit. 

So, bottom line, you've had some good times, but either you or someone close to you might try and pull the wool over your own eyes. Pull that wool right off and have a drink. You will have earned it. You know what I mean (except for the drink part, that hasn't happened yet).




13 comments:

Marian Sunabe said...

Frighteningly accurate, as well as entertaining! I might need a housewife tarot reading every day. Thanks, Madame Margaret!

TheChieftess said...

Well...I'm glad I scheduled a massage for next week...looks like I'm going to need it!!!

Daisy said...

They don't work for me, but a drink and a massage do! And I'll also be careful about magicians with sunny dispositions!

Daisy's Barbara

Petrea Burchard said...

I know I need the massage. The drink...I won't say I need it, but it'll come in handy and make my disposition sunnier.

altadenahiker said...

Disturbing that the present looks like it wants to sell me a used car. And I have other issues with the past and future, as well.

Jean Spitzer said...

I see a promising future in card reading, for you.

It is a gift.

Olga said...

I think you actually were thinking of me while you did this.

Star said...

The Visconti, the medieval lords of Milan, knew how to tarot with (gorgeous) bling: http://beinecke.library.yale.edu/collections/highlights/visconti-tarot

Margaret said...

Star: Fantastic. Yes, I think the lords of Milan had me beat.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

I am under the four swords - and of late, been wanting to stick them in my heart.

Desiree said...

I love this so much I hope it becomes a regular feature--tarot card readers being goddeses in the rough, as it were

Ms M said...

Exactly!

Susan Campisi said...

I could see you go pro with this tarot reading, Margaret. You're much better at this than the woman who asked me to give her $300 to clean my aura. (I may have been gullible enough to get the reading but at least I didn't get my aura cleaned.)