9/4/13

Things to tell your teenage daughter

1. Tell her not to worry when people call her stubborn. Stubborn is just another word for determined.

2. Tell her TO worry when people call her nice. Nice can mean doormat. Help her know the difference.

3. Tell her not to worry so much about getting into a good college. Believe me, enough people will be telling her the opposite. There are many paths, help her find her own. Don't make her believe she has to race on every one else's highway.

4. Tell her to feel what she feels. Tell her not to bottle it, not to hide it, not to deny it. There's only one way to process feelings, and that is by fully experiencing them.

5. She will feel insecure about her looks. Tell her there are are only three guaranteed beauty secrets: a good bra, a good haircut, and a good night's sleep. The rest are all scams. Then get her a good bra and a good haircut. And make sure she gets enough sleep.

6. Tell her the truth: Most of the chances we regret are the ones we didn't take.

7. Tell her that envy comes from wanting other people's packaging. Our insides see everyone else's outsides.

8. Tell her this is her one guaranteed turn on this marble, so she should think twice before devoting it to a screen, any screen.

9. Tell her the story of every woman you know who ended up bitter and depressed because she lived her whole life for someone else.

10. Tell her the story of how she was born, how she grew up, and how, when she was ready to go, you opened the door.

24 comments:

Jean Spitzer said...

Great advice. Lucky teen.

Olga said...

You are a woman of wisdom and you speak the truth.

Karen said...

Lovely and profound, all at once. How do you do it!?

Rosemary L'Esprit said...

Wonderful. Thank you, Margaret.

TheChieftess said...

Ahhhh...to be the daughter of the mom with such sage advice!!!

Ms M said...

Such wise words! Great advice. Well done. :)

Petrea Burchard said...

This one needs to be published. Huffpo? Slate? What? More people need to see this than the few millions who read your blog. It's lovely, and it's true, and I wish I'd read it when I was 17.

Daisy said...

Very good advice Margaret!

Tony Van Helsing said...

Good advice. Now I need a teenage daughter.

Petrea Burchard said...

Ha ha, Tony!

Margaret said...

This one seems to have hit a cord. So glad.

Deb @ Paper Turtle said...

I love this list, Margaret! I nodded in agreement through the entire thing. Now if you can only get her to listen and believe...

You are the mother, after all...what do you know? ;o)

Marian said...

Teenage sons need to hear the same messages. Except the part about the good bra.

Margaret said...

Marion: That is too funny.

Kim Stcharles said...

Will you be my mother? :-)

Great article!

Cafe Pasadena said...

Now I'm looking 4ward to a guest blogger post here on a topic called something like, "Things to tell your unteenage Mother."

altadenahiker said...

I think I've been way too chummy with #6. But if you say that cuts down on regrets, Yay!

Addey said...

LOL Marian beat me to it, but that's exactly what I was thinking. My boy-o needs to hear this now at age 5 and as often as possible as he grows up. Except the bra thing... unless he's into that. (But if past and current observations hold true, he'll be more interested in the woman in the bra than wearing one himself....)

Alison said...

Yep!...that about sums it up!
Alison xx

Susan Campisi said...

Brilliant, Margaret. I just tweeted it, which tells you I really need to heed #8's advice.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

the five women who saw my FB share are all mothers of daughters

Kim Ohanneson said...

Ditto to the comments about same advice for boys, sans bras. My girl is long gone from the house but I got all teary just the same.

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