I was excited when I saw an NPR blog post entitled, "Is it time to cool it on Kale?" Finally, I thought! Someone is going to give it to kale, the super nutritious leafy green that now takes three entire shelves in my grocery store. Alas, the post just went on to say that kale is super good for you, but if it's all you eat that's bad for you. To which I say: Is this really a documented problem? Are there people out there who are ONLY eating kale?
I have a message for those people: What is wrong with you? Why are you only eating kale? Are you a poor kale farmer living by your wits? Are you trapped underneath a giant pile of kale and trying to eat your way out? No? Well then eat something else, you big green goof. All things in moderation, and most especially kale.
I can eat kale. You want to saute it up with some olive oil and garlic? Great! I'll take some. You want to throw some into an omelette or quiche? Fine. Hand it over. Hide it in a smoothie? I'm good with that. But don't you tell me that kale belongs in a salad until I am reincarnated as a goat. Raw kale is unpleasant to the teeth and the palate. It takes forever to chew. It's like eating twine. (That's why you'll lose weight if you have a kale-heavy diet. You'll get so bored chewing, you'll stop eating.) I read in the LA Times that the secret to eating uncooked kale is to manhandle it for ten minutes--ten minutes--until it loses its straw-like texture. Then, claimed the writer, it becomes velvety soft and delicious.
One. It doesn't become velvety soft. EVER. Unless you cook it. Two. Don't lie to me! Where are kale's deep pockets? That's what I want to know. When everyone tells you to jump on some bandwagon, it's because someone's throwing money at it. So who is behind this kale conspiracy? Is it Halliburton? Damn you, Karl Rove!