Alex needs a goddess for dealing with difficult neighbors. Man-o-man. There is nothing like bad neighbors for helping you appreciate good neighbors. Alex needs Hestia, the Greek goddess of hearth and home.
The good thing about being a god is that it means you are omnipotent. The bad thing about being a god is that being omnipotent can make you into a jerk. And the only thing worse than a jerk person is a jerk god. Jerk gods can get away with anything and they don't care how their actions affect others because they have never had any experience that helped them build empathy. They are like those perfect, beautiful people you knew in junior high school. The sheer fact that everything went so well for them often made them horrible people.
Well, for Hestia, everyday was junior high. The gods and goddesses all had these thrones on Mount Olympus, and they all thought they were perfect and were always ready to throw somebody under the bus for no good reason. But not Hestia. Alone among the gods, Hestia was the serious girl who always did what the teacher asked, turned in her homework on time, and made everyone homemade sweaters for Christmas.
One day, this new god came to Mount Olympus. It was Dionysius, the god of wine, and everyone was all, well, he is nice and all but there is only room for twelve thrones here, and I am totally not giving up one millimeter of space to squeeze in another chair. It was a big drama moment filled with hair flipping, dropped jaws and comments like, "OMG. Let's go mess with some Trojan prince so that we can get the nasty concept of sharing out of heads."
But Hestia, being way more mature than her brothers and sisters, was all, "It's just a damn chair! For god sakes can't you people stop thinking about yourselves for like one second."
But they were all, "Like...what else is there to think about if we are not thinking about ourselves?"
So Hestia said, "Fine! He can have mine throne." So she went down and found a little chair by the fire and just made that her throne. It was actually better because she was so sick of hearing Zeus and Hera bicker all the time. The fire was way more peaceful.
Hestia was actually everyone in Greece's favorite goddess, because she wasn't a total bitch! She was helpful and easy to please. Every home fire was an altar to her, and at every meal families would throw a little bit of something into the fire to thank her for the warmth and light of the fire.
So, Alex, start a fire in your fireplace, throw a few crumbs on it, and ask Hestia for help. I'm not sure what she'll do, but there are worst ways to spend time than curled up in front of the fire. Maybe put on some music. Maybe roast a marshmallow. In the end, your greatest power is the power to not let life's difficulties defeat you. Don't let the awful neighbors win. Fuck them. Make it a s'more.
Channel this goddess: When dealing with difficult neighbors, when settling into your home, when playing with fire, when cooking over an open fire, when feeling homebodyish.
Need a goddess? I got goddesses! Post a comment saying what you need or want a goddess for. Then check back in a week or two and see what you got! It's fun! It's free! It's better than burning your wee little fingers.