Goddess of the Week: Hestia

Alex needs a goddess for dealing with difficult neighbors. Man-o-man. There is nothing like bad neighbors for helping you appreciate good neighbors. Alex needs Hestia, the Greek goddess of hearth and home.

The good thing about being a god is that it means you are omnipotent. The bad thing about being a god is that being omnipotent can make you into a jerk. And the only thing worse than a jerk person is a jerk god. Jerk gods can get away with anything and they don't care how their actions affect others because they have never had any experience that helped them build empathy. They are like those perfect, beautiful people you knew in junior high school. The sheer fact that everything went so well for them often made them horrible people.

Well, for Hestia, everyday was junior high. The gods and goddesses all had these thrones on Mount Olympus, and they all thought they were perfect and were always ready to throw somebody under the bus for no good reason. But not Hestia. Alone among the gods, Hestia was the serious girl who always did what the teacher asked, turned in her homework on time, and made everyone homemade sweaters for Christmas.

One day, this new god came to Mount Olympus. It was Dionysius, the god of wine, and everyone was  all, well, he is nice and all but there is only room for twelve thrones here, and I am totally not giving up one millimeter of space to squeeze in another chair. It was a big drama moment filled with hair flipping, dropped jaws and comments like, "OMG. Let's go mess with some Trojan prince so that we can get the nasty concept of sharing out of heads."

But Hestia, being way more mature than her brothers and sisters, was all, "It's just a damn chair! For god sakes can't you people stop thinking about yourselves for like one second."

But they were all, "Like...what else is there to think about if we are not thinking about ourselves?"

So Hestia said, "Fine! He can have mine throne." So she went down and found a little chair by the fire and just made that her throne. It was actually better because she was so sick of hearing Zeus and Hera bicker all the time. The fire was way more peaceful.

Hestia was actually everyone in Greece's favorite goddess, because she wasn't a total bitch! She was helpful and easy to please. Every home fire was an altar to her, and at every meal families would throw a little bit of something into the fire to thank her for the warmth and light of the fire.

So, Alex, start a fire in your fireplace, throw a few crumbs on it, and ask Hestia for help.  I'm not sure what she'll do, but there are worst ways to spend time than curled up in front of the fire. Maybe put on some music. Maybe roast a marshmallow. In the end, your greatest power is the power to not let life's difficulties defeat you. Don't let the awful neighbors win. Fuck them. Make it a s'more.

Channel this goddess: When dealing with difficult neighbors, when settling into your home, when playing with fire, when cooking over an open fire, when feeling homebodyish.

Need a goddess? I got goddesses! Post a comment saying what you need or want a goddess for. Then check back in a week or two and see what you got! It's fun! It's free! It's better than burning your wee little fingers.


Petrea Burchard said...

I should send John over to Alex's place. We've had problem neighbors before and John turns them into friends. Everything from drug dealers to Bible thumpers, he makes friends then tells him why we'd really like it if they'd turn the stereo down. If that doesn't work, we call the cops.

Daisy said...

No blessing quite as precious as good neighbours. I've been lucky the past few years. Thank you Hestia.

Deb @ Paper Turtle said...

Every day was junior high. Love that!

Yeah, I've had a bad neighbor (or two) in my day - NOT fun! I must have channeled Hestia for this house though, because we have some lovely neighbors!

Olga said...

I owe Hestia because I have great neighbors.

Bec said...

Our actual neighbors are great but the assisted living next door has some crappy administrators and it's almost to the point where we're ready to move . . . I need this goddess because I don't want my husband to sell my home over this issue!

Petrea Burchard said...

I don't want to give the wrong impression. We're blessed with excellent neighbors in our current home. In fact, one of them is an assisted living facility. Bec, I'm sure there's someone you can call to report the administrators. These homes are supposedly state-inspected because they are supported by taxpayers.

altadenahiker said...

Ok, I'm keeping Hestia in my back pocket, as a secret weapon. Every time a neighbor moves, I break out in a cold sweat.

Ms M said...

A good reminder that I need to honor Hestia. Currently, we're blessed with good neighbors.

Desiree said...

Ugh! Neighbors! We've gone from bad to blissful and currently we're at bearable.

Jean Spitzer said...

In our new home, we have a slightly different problem, too few neighbors. Really cuts down on the benefits of apartment living.