8/27/15

My new position on kale

Today, I announce a change in my position regarding kale. In these very pages I have said that chewing raw kale is like chewing hay. I have said that any vegetable that must be "massaged" prior to consumption is basically telling you to fuck off. I have said that kale that is not cooked or used to decorate a fruit platter has no place in civilized society.

Yet, having had the opportunity to know kale better, having seen kale salads shining up at me at restaurants and grocery stores for several years now, having people smile at me while sucking back strawberry/kale smoothies, having simply had to live among the kale, I have come to realize that, whatever, it's not so bad.

So yes, I have switched to team kale. I have more than switched to team kale. I have embraced kale. Some of my best friends are kale.

Given an abundance of choices, I brought home this salad yesterday:
Lest you think I'm willing to "bring home" kale salad once in a while but not actually see kale as a green that is worth getting to know on an intimate basis, I give you this:
Boom! I fucking made this. I took kale, chopped it, and physically massaged the hell out of it for, like, five minutes. Then I added tomatoes, onions and steamed potatoes (room temperature) and dressed the whole thing with lemon, olive oil, garlic, and a wee bit of salt. (It was better than the store bought one. Like all relationships what you give in massage time comes back to you in mellow graciousness.)

Maybe you think it's too late for you. Maybe you see this and think: "Oh, Margaret! She can change teams because, you know, she's all, "Oh, thank you Buddha," every time she buys a new kind of dish soap. But I'm telling you: Kale. It's always been here. It's not going away. Open your heart. Give kale a chance. 

7 comments:

Cathy Perlmutter said...

You made me laugh (again and again).

Petrea Burchard said...

Maybe. But only if it's a store-bought dish. I want someone else to do the massaging.

Olga Hebert said...

I love that you have embraced change and increased your palate pleasing possibilities. My mind was changed by a restaurant salad of kale with warm goat cheese and candied walnuts.

Jane Neff Rollins said...

Traitor! You have let the capitalist pig food-industrial complex brainwash you. Kale sucks.

Bec said...

hahaha! I changed teams too . . . come to the dark side - it has Kale :) The Diane salad at Green Street is really good with kale.

Ms M said...

Eh....I'll think about it. Maybe store-bought. I don't have time for veggie massages.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

Hey, switching from iceberg lettuce to bitter greens was a giant step for me (I believe romaine helped in my transitional period). Kale may have to wait.