tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post6424642163959782667..comments2023-11-02T08:00:18.340-07:00Comments on Finnegan Begin Again: Margaret--Commerical Shill--Writes a Book Review: Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career and the Conflict of Modern MotheroodMargarethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08668487489667818687noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-23523658422490746422011-05-04T08:40:50.459-07:002011-05-04T08:40:50.459-07:00Well said Margaret...for what it's worth, I th...Well said Margaret...for what it's worth, I think you made the best choice! I believe whole heartedly that one of the reasons there's so much bullying, and violence with kids now has to do with the lack of stay at home moms...your kids are lucky to have you as their mom...and you are and always will be a smarty pants!!!TheChieftesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00153059825142977202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-29070611249448960992011-04-30T14:00:16.078-07:002011-04-30T14:00:16.078-07:00I could relate to some of the struggles you descri...I could relate to some of the struggles you describe though I never had kids nor pursued a tenure-track position. Yep, I made choices, too. I think you made the right decision, Margaret, being home for your two goddesses. Plus, the most brilliant people I've met in life never even finished college. <br /><br />"Do you have any idea how many jackasses have PhD's?" Daisy, you made me laugh.Susan Campisihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07255628787592008617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-81593992627764983482011-04-28T14:30:53.648-07:002011-04-28T14:30:53.648-07:00Bec, I had a feeling we were in the same boat. I ...Bec, I had a feeling we were in the same boat. I think you'd like this book.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08668487489667818687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-67001121031145396792011-04-28T10:01:22.158-07:002011-04-28T10:01:22.158-07:00We're much alike career-wise (although I'm...We're much alike career-wise (although I'm about 12 years behind you on the parenting thing). I think part-time teaching at the college level affords flexibility that other jobs wouldn't but I'm still conflicted about my choices. I used to think I could "work at home" writing when I had kids. And then I had kids. It's never quiet enough to do real work at home! <br /><br />I just found someone to proctor my midterm so I wouldn't have to miss my little girl's first "Mother's Day Tea" . . . I was so sad to think of her there without a mommy! Loved your review and how laid out your own choices - thanks.Bechttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09792495645886204937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-25855002953790812362011-04-27T18:07:57.543-07:002011-04-27T18:07:57.543-07:00I hadn't thought of it that way, Hiker, but yo...I hadn't thought of it that way, Hiker, but you're right. My father-in-law wanted to be an actor, but he had three kids to raise so he became a lawyer instead. As soon as he could, though, he started doing some theater. I saw him in a play in Chicago long before I met him or my husband.<br /><br />He had a respectable acting career in retirement. I don't think he regrets his choice.Petrea Burchardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13043950465171821852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-52777949789825439422011-04-27T17:29:59.978-07:002011-04-27T17:29:59.978-07:00AH: As always, you are right. Thanks for the insi...AH: As always, you are right. Thanks for the insight. Sad, but I always want to tell me kids: Be anything but a writer. (Of course, I never do say that, but it's implied)Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08668487489667818687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-81114485114374280562011-04-27T17:16:34.109-07:002011-04-27T17:16:34.109-07:00The only thing is, it's not just women. I know...The only thing is, it's not just women. I know my dad gave up painting and illo work to support the family. He became an engineer. Though he never openly complained about the choice, he told all us kids, "Be anything but an engineer."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-34106630598561263702011-04-27T14:10:44.681-07:002011-04-27T14:10:44.681-07:00This is the most thorough and honest book review I...This is the most thorough and honest book review I've ever read, Margaret.<br /><br />Isn't this usually the case though - every choice we make involves sacrificing something, but there's also reward. The trick is in SEEING the reward even if it's not always obvious.Deb @ PaperTurtlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00957816023851249171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-11502508319712283722011-04-27T13:56:10.619-07:002011-04-27T13:56:10.619-07:00It's a tough choice to make. Sometimes there a...It's a tough choice to make. Sometimes there are no "right" answers.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17182172661544456390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-62202228767404845482011-04-27T06:45:19.921-07:002011-04-27T06:45:19.921-07:00Paula: I think you are right about those parents. ...Paula: I think you are right about those parents. Heaven help us from them and their future little dictators.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08668487489667818687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-17559539613853941522011-04-27T01:36:33.766-07:002011-04-27T01:36:33.766-07:00I thought I was the only one who felt that way for...I thought I was the only one who felt that way for making a choice not to follow a professional career. I feel much better knowing I'm keeping good company like you, Margaret. And the truth about those parents with over-achieving kids? Those kids are successful because their parents will trounce anyone who gets in their way - and smile at you will they're doing it like some benign fascist dictator. And I doubt they ever lose a minute of sleep over it.PJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12059415005282675289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-88804005265994477712011-04-26T13:55:26.826-07:002011-04-26T13:55:26.826-07:00I really am not as smart as I was, but I will gran...I really am not as smart as I was, but I will grant that you that I probably wiser and also kinder.Margarethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08668487489667818687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-38303928608221113442011-04-26T11:33:44.087-07:002011-04-26T11:33:44.087-07:00I was torn about whether to laugh or cry. We all ...I was torn about whether to laugh or cry. We all have to make choices and it is human nature to justify those choices in our own minds. In the end, though,the greatest choice is to believe we did the right things in spoite of it all.Olgahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00692441479616299920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-52082176800966813022011-04-26T03:37:34.722-07:002011-04-26T03:37:34.722-07:00I am sure you made the right choice.:-) well done ...I am sure you made the right choice.:-) well done to you!Curlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11639974437875505265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-47977892135622574672011-04-25T21:58:05.637-07:002011-04-25T21:58:05.637-07:00I love the lack of sugar-coating, too. And I'v...I love the lack of sugar-coating, too. And I've known some extremely academically bright people who could wax on about startlingly impressive-sounding things but not know how to pay a bill or get by in everyday life. Give me practical smarts any day. {Much more likely to make it home in one piece.}Shell Sherreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00477843748741838608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-51935046477932201862011-04-25T21:48:34.418-07:002011-04-25T21:48:34.418-07:00Your adviser, kind, warm, and witty, she may have ...Your adviser, kind, warm, and witty, she may have been, had a typically narrow view of what constitutes smart. It is standard for our culture to demean the intelligence women bring to their interpersonal relationships, their families, their eyes-wide-open sacrifices for their children. What kind of intelligence does that take?<br /><br />Bah! I know plenty of idiotic tenured people. I just won't name them here.Desireehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331108175137673106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-39260886204019809942011-04-25T17:54:44.847-07:002011-04-25T17:54:44.847-07:00I can understand the "conflict", and als...I can understand the "conflict", and also think there are different kinds of "smart". I doubt you are "not as smart as you were" because you live a dynamic life even if it's not in academia. Do you have any idea how many jackasses have PhD's? Living in an ivory tower numbs ones brain too.<br /><br />Anyway...I'm on your side Margaret!Watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16609173450576055443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-16503784255863518562011-04-25T17:01:32.138-07:002011-04-25T17:01:32.138-07:00I'll argue on the not-smart thing, too, Margar...I'll argue on the not-smart thing, too, Margaret. As far as not hanging out with generally successful people, well, I'm trying to change! But then again, I made choices, too. Har.<br /><br />As to the book, brava to the writer and editors for rinsing away the sugar coating and telling it like it is.Petrea Burchardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13043950465171821852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8381983259145260439.post-72961459790930677932011-04-25T16:15:47.727-07:002011-04-25T16:15:47.727-07:00Bravo to you for your choice! I have a feeling yo...Bravo to you for your choice! I have a feeling you never have, nor never will, regret it. I agree, financial sacrifices might come with the choice, but don't you find that you also learn to live differently this way? And I say that in an honorable way, not trying to be cute or funny about it. And, I'd argue you on the not-as-smart thing. Life is the best teacher.Joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03972054718663959694noreply@blogger.com