4/29/09

This little piggy went to market

So I was at Trader Joes, and what did I see?  A youngish woman wearing white gloves.  They were the kind of ladies gloves that were already obsolete in 1970, when I was five, but which I remember having to wear anyway on dressy occasions.  The gloves were thin and fine, most likely silk or some silk/polyester blend.  They were very pretty, and they were clearly not intended to be a fashion statement.  They were intended to be a vigilance statement.  These were the gloves that said: "No swine flu for me!"

I understand that sentiment.  I myself am the type of person who takes care to wash my hands whenever I come home from anywhere.  I have been known to pull my own pen out of my purse to sign credit card slips and thus avoid using the communal pens lying around shops.  And would it surprise you to learn that I floss my teeth, every night, and that I've never had a cavity?

The point is, I understand wariness.  I understand and try to abide by the keys to good health.  But how tragic it will be to discover, at some later date, that women threw off the shackles of patriarchal, WASPish fashion (corsets, white gloves, veiled hats, and floor length dresses) only to be thrown again under the bus of hot, sweaty gloves because of swine flu.  

Don't go there people.  Resist the urge.  Wave your pretty little digits in the April sky.  Wave them high. Wave them low.  And, at the top of the lungs, shout "No.  White.  Gloves.  NEVER AGAIN!"*

*Note: You do have my permission to wear gloves of all types in inclement weather and even white gloves if you are dressing up like Veronica Lake, Audrey Hepburn, or Gypsy Rose Lee, or if you somehow think that white gloves will improve your romantic prospects.  But only then.

13 comments:

Linda Dove said...

I'm stuck on: never had a cavity.

Really?

I bow to your toothness.

altadenahiker said...

I don't know why the health organization and the news are being overly delicate. What they should say is don't stick a digit up your nose or in any other, uh, opening. The gloves won't make the slightest bit of difference if you do.

WV: inger. (yes, really). Make sure the F is in plain sight.

Margaret said...

Linda: I bow to the word toothness.

AH: You are, as always, right.

Vanda said...

Veils could be cool, but they would have to come with fancy hats.

I envy your teeth.

Desiree said...

I hear Tom Jones:
"You can leave your gloves on...
You can leave your white gloves on..."

Laurie said...

I loved my little white gloves when I was 6 years old. I wore them with party dresses and straw hats that had long ribbons hanging down the back. In Texas ALL the good little girls wore their white gloves on special occasions. But then again, it was 1970...

And that was a full 6 years before THAT decade's swine flu panic.

This is such a great commentary, Margaret. On so many levels!

Shell Sherree said...

Oh boy, I've never stopped to think before about how greeblie those communal pens would be. How am I going to sleep now?!

{'Toothness' is an excellent word!}

Margaret said...

Vanda: I agrre. I do love hats.

Dez: I don't that song. I'll have to look it up.

Shell: Yes, the communal pen well can be dodgy.

Laurie: I bet you were adorable in your gloves.

Bec said...

I've been enjoying your blog. When my husband heard about swine flu, he told me that we'd probably get it since our daughter seems to catch weird things. But, he didn't ask me to wear white gloves. Having a child has made me *try* to let go of some of my germaphobe tendancies but it's a tough one and H1N1 isn't helping!

Margaret said...

Hi Bec, so nice of you to comment and I hope I'll hear from you more often. I know what you mean. We call me daughter the human petri dish because she gets any virus that runs through town. We'll hope for the best. But it is all about building those immunities, I suppose.

Bec said...

I'll keep checking in here :)

Human petri dish has a nice ring to it. Yes, we just keep telling ourselves that she'll have the strongest immune system around.

pasadenaadjacent.com said...

I saw a woman with a full facial visor on the Santa Monica today (think welding mask). Was that a fear of the flu or sun damage?

Not one cavity? I'm a sort of tooth goddess in that I have a box dedicated to housing my lost and failed teeth as well as those of family members.

J&D said...



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