10/23/09

Wise Women Friday: Helen Fielding

LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 01: Writer Helen Fi...Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Words of wisdom from English novelist Helen Fielding:

...although we have discovered our Inner Bitches,
we have not yet unlocked them.

It is hard to unlock your Inner Bitch if you have been advised your whole life to be nice. Nice is good. Nice is fine. Nice sweetens the coffee, just like sugar helps the medicine go down. But, the truth is, nice doesn't always work. Nice doesn't always get you what you want. It doesn't always open doors. Sometimes, nice blows up in your face.

There are times in life when you need to unlock your Inner Bitch. You must let her out. You must let her do the work that needs to be done. You must be tough. You must be professional. You must NOT WORRY about nice.

You will worry that if you let your Inner Bitch out, people will actually call you a bitch. Let them. Own this word. Take it back from your detractors. Language is power. Take power. If people said you were a tiger or a lion, you would feel strong and powerful. If people say you are bitch, feel loyal, protective, courageous and true. That's what a female dog is.

Whatever power you need to fight, fight it. Go. Be a bitch.


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23 comments:

Margaret said...

Having issues with unsupportive teachers. Must play hardball now. No more Ms. Nice.

Linda Dove said...

Sorry about the teachers. I, too, really need to unlock my inner bitch right now.

Miss Havisham's Tea Party said...

Hello lovely bitches!

I am with you.

One must own their own inner bitch lest one become someone elses. Bitch.

Daisy said...

My I.B. is alive and well! :-)
Thank you for your support!
Daisy's Barbara

Kate said...

Yup - Great post! Am aspiring to let that bitch show. I need a bit of that.

Rois said...

I let my inner Bitch fly at a teacher just last night, No Sir I will not sign your silly paper telling me my son did not have his homework,He did not have it because he asked you for the work to support said homework and you told him No.
I don't think it's really about being a bitch per say. I always try to kill with politeness and intense intelligence it stings a bit more.I was polite so how can you be shitty to me? I guess its an under handed way of well, getting my way.
Rois

... daisy... said...

Of all my faults I am very afraid to say this is my best one. If my colleagues would hear that I have not discovered my inner bitch yet, they would probably all resign tomorrow... :-D
I can be sweet as a pie, but as a personal assistant sometimes you cannot show your weak points and you end up being a bitch even when you wouldn't want to be one. Luckily the persons who know me well enough, are aware that I can only be bitchy when I have to at work. I have to say that I can be quite a bitch even in a relationship if I get one of my moods... mmmm mmmm mmmm this could be the reason I'm still a spinster??? :-DDD
Anyway... being bitchy is necessary as well as being lovely... so... go and get bitchy!!! :D
I knew a post from you was on its way... I was looking forward to it! :-)

... daisy... said...

PS: I've read a couple of her books too! Not only B. Jones of course... :-D

Margaret said...

My goodness, so many of us are in this place right now.

Linda: Hope you find the key.

Miss Havisham: Your comment is so wise I might have to use it on another Wise Women Friday.

Daisy: Good dog.

Kate: Good look to you too.

Rois: Don't even get me started on homework. Don't even get me started.

Daisy: Well, you had me fooled. I had you pegged as all peaches and cream, but I am glad you can be tough when you must.

altadenahiker said...

Inner bitch? I wouldn't know about such things...

Petrea said...

My inner bitch is so inner that when I let her out nobody notices. I really needed her today. She would have said something like, "Excuse me, could I just say one more thing? I have one more thing to say and I have a right to say it. Um. Is that okay?" When my inner bitch comes out she's meaner to me than to anyone else. Unless you rag on my friends, then look out.

PaperTurtle said...

Amen, sister.

Desiree said...

I like wearing my inner bitch on the outside

Shell Sherree said...

Oh, I love this, Margaret ~ and especially this: "If people say you are bitch, feel loyal, protective, courageous and true. That's what a female dog is."

There's a biscuit here called 'Nice'. It's coated with sugar and tastes - nice - but crumbles under pressure. If I tell myself that being bitchy can be done in such a way that it's expressing loyalty and courage, I just might be able to do it.

Petrea said...

I've been thinking about this a lot, Margaret. I love your posts.

Cafe Pasadena said...

I've been thinking a lattte about what you said re how 'hard it is to unlock your Inner Bitches.'

That may be true. But, my observation is the bitches this dog comes across seem to have no problem unlocking their Outter Bitches.

Georgie K. Buttons said...

I gave you an award! http://authorsdesk.blogspot.com/2009/10/stealing-word-from-spider-i-dub-this.html

Daisy said...

Ahem! As a 100% purebred bitch I'd just like to point out that I'm usually very nice, except when protecting my little ones. I don't like some of the negative images of the word "bitch", especially when used about someone (female) who has stood up to a (usually) male person being bossy, but maybe that's just me being "bitchy"!

pasadenaadjacent.com said...

Inner bitch? I prefer being a tiger in the offensive position.

TheChieftess said...

I've been nice, I've been a bitch...at this point in my life I get really bitchy when I come across other people who aren't very nice!!! Otherwise, I prefer nice!!!

Unseen Rajasthan said...

Worth Reading post !! Nice one..Thanks for sharing..Unseen Rajasthan

Susan C said...

Is it possible to be a nice bitch or am I missing the point?

gaelikaa said...

Being a woman is about being strong and forceful as well as gentle and nurturing. If the strong bit is repressed, that's not cool at all.