12/2/09

Dear Carbs: Wish me a Merry Christmas

5 lbs. of Chocolate SantaImage by markpayne via Flickr

Dear Carbs:

About Thanksgiving. Yes. The stuffing was delicious. Yes. The homemade sweet potato pie with the crumbly, buttery crust that could only have been made by the fluttering of wings by little baby angels was excellent.

I admit that, after all this time, it was nice to sit down at the table with you. You are looking good. Very fluffy. And it's nice to see you looking so happy. I can see you've moved on. Good for you. I'm glad. No. Really. I'm the one who broke it off, after all.

Still, I'm a little hurt. I really mourned you, and now I see that you just didn't care. I was a bauble to you, a jolly round bauble. When I was drowning my sorrows in god-forsaken CHICKEN, you were shipping off chocolate Santas and candy canes and caramels and bon bons and peppermint bark. You were stripping the poor Williams Sonoma catalog of all its respectability and sleazing it full of food porn. You were smacking Paula Deen with hams. You were creating these.

You're ruthless. You know that? Ruthless? But, try as I may, I just can't quit you.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

15 comments:

Deb said...

Hahahaha. Oh, I just love your carb letters. This one's a classic. Thanks for the chuckle!

Joanne said...

'Tis the Season!

Jean Spitzer said...

So funny and so true. Like Deb, I love your carb love letters.

Cafe Observer said...

"You were creating these!"
Oh, there's the clue: you're talking about your "friend", the Restless Chef Dez!!

MF, unfortunately I can't say she wood be sorry for her transgressions.

Cafe Observer said...

One more thing, Professor. I hate to correct your spelling, especially come from a K9 who's 1st language is Bark, but...

You misspelled "Restless" as "Ruthless."

altadenahiker said...

I agree. I haven't found chicken to much of a substitute for any of life's temptations.

inkywasfat said...

Hurray. A carb post. The "funny" link made me laugh, and the baby angels wings were just right.

Petrea said...

Have some dark chocolate. It's good for you. Just a little bite will perk you up and it's not fattening. Paula D is eating milk chocolate and look where it got her.

Desiree said...

M: carbs are like Paris: I love them every moment, every moment of the year---

CO: heh, heh, heh

WV: wewishyouamerrycarbmus

Shell Sherree said...

I don't think I'll be happy until I eat pastry made by the fluttering of wings by little baby angels. That's special, Margaret!

pasadenaadjacent.com said...

......and did Paula Dean go straight into litigation over the ham in the head? no... with grace and humor, she turned the other cheek.

Daisy said...

A friend of mine ate lots of fruit and veggies, exercised daily, and was just released from hospital after having a quadruple bypass. The lesson to me is, keep the chocolate! Pizza for supper! If my heart gets stopped up, I want it to be with good stuff!
Barbara and Daisy

Poconoangel said...

Margaret, you are so funny!I too love the carb letters! I am going to share this with a friend this morning. --Thanks for posting! You help start my day!!

... daisy... said...

ahhhh... I got hungry!!!!! Woah I am just getting some chocolate! ;-)

gaelikaa said...

It's the bad habit you just can't break!