1/18/10

Raise a Glass to Inner Peace

White bearded wildebeest, Ngorongoro crater Ta...Image via Wikipedia

Suffice to say, family drama -- namely, my daughter's health, which is not good -- led me to seek inner peace. Nothing we do seems to stop her seizures, and now she is depressed and anxious. You would be too.

So I got out my bar kit. Here's what years of dealing with a chronically ill child have taught me: As bad as things get, you can't let the frail little wildebeest bring down the herd. The herd has to survive. The herd has to live. If the herd gets sucked into the oozing mire, it's over for everyone. So you have to support the little wildebeest, but you have to support everyone else too, including yourself, and that means you need the right cocktail.

My particular cocktail of self help includes walking, meditation, a good night's sleep, hot baths, wine, lunch with friends, movies with husband, and -- most disturbing to the family -- the belting out of show tunes. It's all very Oprah, I know. But, to this mix, I add a little something I call the cultivation of joy. Happiness doesn't just happen. You have to make it happen. And sometimes you have to work harder at it than others.

So after a month of deep reflection and cocktailing, I've decided that inner peace is what you get when you die. Until then, the only peace you get is the peace you work for, and if it passes through your body like water through a colander then that just means it's like everything else in this world. But that's ok. Because sadness and grief pass through that colander too. They're just a little slow to drain because of all the saline. While you're waiting for them to siphon off, drink up. And sing.
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25 comments:

Rois said...

I tell ya lady I sometimes think we live parallel lives.
Sometimes all I can do is keep going for the sake of the herd.Not always simple but I try to do it one step/day at a time.
Sorry to hear of your daughters illness.Tell her we are sending her good cheer.
Our friends daughter has a Pace Maker type thing in planted to help with her seizures and it has been life changing for her.Just a thought.
Best regards and much sisterhood.
Rois and Family

Cafe Pasadena said...

Welcome back, Marge!

Sounds stressful 2 say the least.
My general prescription for a medical problem that doesn't wanna leave the house: if you haven't already, consider going to an N.D. rather than only an M.D. You wanna treat the deepest root cause of the symptom.

Deb said...

Well, you are definitely back in the saddle with this great post, Margaret. So sorry to hear that your daughter is having a tough time, but so very glad to see your face back in the game!

inkywasfat said...

Glad you're back, but wish things were not so hard. Payers ascending for your daughter.

altadenahiker said...

You are so smart. Maybe even smart enough to listen to yourself.

Petrea said...

Every day is wise woman day with you, Margaret. Blessings on you and yours.

kanmuri said...

I hope your daughter will get better. At least, she has a great mom to help her :D

Joanne said...

Glad to see you back, Margaret, and sending strength your way during these times. If we could send happiness, I'd send you a bouquet of it. Much good wishes for your daughter's health.

Missy AKA Little Messy Missy said...

Amen. May everything this world has to offer that is beautiful and positive flow into your life.

Poconoangel said...

Peace be with you, your daughter and the family. It's the hard times that pull you close together as a family. God Bless you all.

Linda Dove said...

I'm so sorry you, and she, are dealing with this. My ex had epilepsy, and so I know a little of what you speak. Thinking of you all.

... daisy... said...

I missed you! I am sorry to hear about your daughter, but you are very right when you say that you have to think about the rest of your family too... including YOURSELF, because if you're not feeling good, you can't be strong enough to support her during this difficult time. I hope everything will get sorted out.
I am happy to read from you again! I hug you!

Shell Sherree said...

Two words for you, dear Margaret: Barbra. Streisand.

Ok, I can't stop at two words. Who am I kidding. I love your recipe. And very wise. Reminds me of personal growth seminars I did in the 80s: Take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Sing loud and long, Margaret. I also like Pup's idea.

Margaret said...

First, thanks to all of you for waiting for me so supportively and then responding so generously. Thank you for all your good thoughts for me my herd. I'll be checking up on all of your and your great blogs today.

Rois: Hope all is well with your herd.

Pup: What's an N.D.?

Shell: Memories.....

Cafe Pasadena said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cafe Pasadena said...

An N.D. is a Doctor of Natural Medicine or Naturopathy. They put much greater emphasis on finding the root cause for the presenting symptom, an alternative to traditional physicians method of treating illness. They also generally are much less dependent on using drugs.

So Pasa Laurie could probably tell you something about alternative medicine as well.

Naturopaths

pasadenaadjacent.com said...

You are so smart. You really are. In just a few words and a well placed metaphor you've put a beam of light on truth. I'm going to print this out and share it with some friends.

thanks M and welcome back to the "inter-nut"
(credit Miss Hav)

Desiree said...

Yikes! How'd I miss this post?
Hmm perhaps because the cocktails were alchol-free!
Oh, to joy--

janet said...

Margaret, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I think it's much easier to handle our own problems than our children's. I'm with Cafe Pasadena about seeing a naturopath. Have you already?

Daisy said...

I'm sorry to hear of your daughters' illness, Margaret. I think you have the correct "cocktail", and just add all your friends here to the mix. I love to sing show tunes and will sing them with you whle sending lots of cyber hugs and healing prayer your way.

Sandra Pawula said...

You got it! All those emotions are just passing by. No need to grab onto them. Inner peace is just another passing phenomena. Best not to get too attached to it!

Sandra
http://healingei.wordpress.com

baffled human said...

I so appreciate your posts Margaret. Sorry that a herdmember is challenged but quite glad you are back. Best wishes for the new year.

Susan C said...

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who breaks into tunes from musicals. Whenever I make gravy, I have to sing "The SLURRY with the fringe on the top."

Sending warm thoughts to you and the entire family.

Bec said...

Coming really late to this but wanted you to know that my prayers are with your family and I'm glad you're back!

Star said...

When in need of inner peace, I turn to "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius...seriously. Though one of the (2nd century A.D.) Five Good Emperors of Rome, he really had wanted to be a philosopher (!), and so jotted notes to himself to remind himself how to be a good human being and emperor. You're not a cover-to-cover reader? No problem. Since they are jotted notes-to-self, they not only are sincere and un-preachy, they're also short and unconnected with what went before, or came after, so just open at random, and read. What you read didn't help? Believe me, it will, later. In the meantime, read a bit farther, and you're bound to find something that really helps. This book is a constant source of inspiration and help.