2/5/10

Wise Women Friday: Gertrude Stein

Words of wisdom from American writer Gertrude Stein (1874-1946):

As a cousin of mine once said about money, money is always there but the pockets change; it is not in the same pockets after a change, and that is all there is to say about money.

Icon of U.S. currency.Image via Wikipedia

Ha! I found five bucks on the street today. I was just walking along with my dog, minding my own business, and there is was: a five dollar bill. So there you go, the pockets changed. I'm guessing the bill fell out of some middle schooler's pocket. The kid probably would have used the bill to buy lunch, but since I'm pretty much down on middle schoolers these days, I say this child has learned an important lesson. Use a wallet.

I remember this other time I found five dollars. I was probably about twelve. My sister and I were fighting over whose turn it was to take out the trash. In an injustice of outrageous proportions, it was finally determined by the gods on high -- namely, my mom -- that it was, apparently, my turn. So, in another example of the mile-high burden of suffering I endured as a child, I took out the damn trash, which meant that I had to walk, like, 100 whole feet to the parking lot of our apartment building and put the garbage in one of those big, stinky bins. (And it was stinky. I'm not exaggerating.) But, HA! I turned around, and there it was, on the parking lot asphalt: five dollars. There was not a soul in sight, so I grabbed the money and ran home.

"Look! I found five dollars!" I screamed to my mother and sister.

"That's not fair!" yelled my sister. "You have to share it with me!"

But I didn't share it because it was fricking mine!

(Which just goes to show that as much I suffered as a child, my mother suffered even more.)

Anyway, too bad for the sucker kid who lost his money because it's my money now. Mine. Mine. Mine. I'm a happy miser.

20 comments:

Lynne said...

You found $5.00!!! No fair, you have to send me a check for $2.50! (PS - I have no recollection of this event, but then I never even remember taking the garbage out. Ever.)

Margaret said...

I'm telling you, that bin smelled!

Desiree said...

Hysterical.
Favorite inscrutable Gertrude Stein quote: "butter will melt."
Loved the Daffy Duck quote, too.

inkywasfat said...

Why are you down on the middle-schoolers? What's they ever do to you?

This was too funny.

Margaret said...

They've been teasing my 8th grader.

Joanne said...

Hm, maybe you should divvy up the money in the comments? Share the wealth with your best blog friends? Or heck, treat yourself to a coffee, or a fun ice cream cone, and enjoy!

Susan C said...

The money usually just changes pockets in the same household around here - like when you put on a winter coat and find a $20. Score!

I recently looked down and spotted $20 in a parking lot, but I asked a nearby lady getting into her car if it was hers and, of course, she said yes. (Waaa!)

I wonder how many cupcakes you can buy with $5.00?

Pasadena Adjacent said...

Better to quote Gertrude Stein then to be told you look like her. Something my sister was told in her post chemo hair nub state.

altadenahiker said...

I'm obviously not walking the right streets.

Petrea said...

I have to read this one again and figure out what it has to do with wisdom. Except that somebody's up five bucks, which I guess ain't stupid.

Shell Sherree said...

Now that I've stopped laughing, I'm excited for you, Margaret.

TheChieftess said...

I'm still giggling!!! Middle schoolers can be so annoying...yet they were my favorite age group way back in my teaching days...(maybe that's why I didn't like teaching!) Glad your pocket is $5 fuller!!! Have fun figuring out how you want to spend your windfall!!!

wv: swamo...what the foothill residents have to do to get out of their mud filled homes...ouch!!!

gaelikaa said...

What goes around comes around. Losers weepers, finders keepers. And so on...

Rois said...

8th graders are punks,so full of themselves. Here in Oregon they are the top dogs at the middle school getting too big for their britches but not ready to face the high schooler's yet. They will get theirs come high school.
My Mom always said when you find money on the ground someone owed you money from a past life and finding the money was the way they paid you back.
Buy some chocolate,good grown up dark chocolate.

... daisy... said...

:-DDD I once found money on the street while standing and waiting for a friend to stop talking to another friend! I jumped around saying "look I've found a bill! I've found a bill" only to be told by this other friend of mine that it fell from my pocket... ;-)))

Daisy said...

That's too funny, other Daisy! At least you broke even.

I found a $20 once while walking the dog. Went back to the area a few more times but no more $20's sprouted from the grass. Ah well ....

... daisy... said...

yes I have to say it was some other kind of good luck! ;)

Shanna said...

Jim just got The Autobiography Of Alice B. Toklas, by Gertrude Stein yesterday - first edition - for $6.00! Seems appropriate somehow.
It has the hand split pages.
A real FIND!

Petrea said...

Oh, Shanna, we are a bookish crowd. I think it's only fair that you tell us where he found it.

Wait. Maybe not. Maybe it's only fair for you to keep your secret, and for us to seek it ourselves.

Margaret said...

Petrea: Use a wallet. You don't think that's wise advice?

PA: Outstanding advice

Shanna: I think you win. I'm not sure what you win, but you win.