6/14/10

Goddess of the Week: Panacea et al

Cropped image of Iaso from a Greek urnImage via Wikipedia

Ann needs a goddess of good health, but it when it comes to health I think you really want to stack the deck, in which case, the more goddesses the better. I've got a bevy of goddesses for you, Ann. In fact, I've got five sisters who will totally have you covered.

The sisters are the daughters of Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine -- and they may just be what America needs to solve all its health care conflicts.

There's preventive measures goddess, Hygieia, who is all about washing hands. There's big phrama goddess, Panacea, the goddess of cures. Then you have your big gun illnesses goddesses, Iaso, goddess of recuperation and Aceso, goddess of recovery. These are the ones you want in your corner when Paxil and antibacterial lotion let you down. Last of all, you have Aglaea, goddess of natural beauty, who takes care of all your elective plastic surgery needs.

In a traditional medical setting, seeing these ladies -- literal goddesses in their fields -- would cost you thousands and thousands of dollars, and you'd never even get your parking validated. But with the new goddess system, all you need to do is drop a drachma at the temple and maybe sacrifice a goat every once in a while and you'll have all you need to live a healthy, vigorous life.

Don't believe me? Just ask the people of ancient Athens. They'll tell you that it took only three years for the goddesses to wipe out the terrible plague of 430-427 BC. I know people who've had to wait that long to see the dermatologist! Plus they didn't have to use one of the pesky blood pressure cups that always make me so nervous just thinking about them that my blood pressure shoots through the roof. In fact, even writing that made a little dizzy so I think I better stop now.

Channel these goddesses: in times of swine flu, bird flu, moose flu, and other assorted aches and pains. It's better than leeches.

Need a goddess: I got goddesses! Post a comment and I'll find what you need.


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23 comments:

... daisy... said...

There's an Italian saying: La salute è il più prezioso di tutti i tesori; ed è il meno ben custodito. That means "Health is the most precious of all treasures; and it is also the least looked after"... I hope I translated it correctly... anyway... good thing we can count on five sisters!!!

I wrote something in English... for a change... my 4th attempt at writing a poem in English on my blog... I hope you'll tell me what you think of it! ;-) (sincerely) :-)

Desiree said...

YOU are the goddess of wit and funny--

Daisy said...

I agree with Desiree! :-)

Rois said...

Wow,that's some cheap health care.A meat goat is right around $125 around here,much cheaper than our yearly deductible.

And, I am adding these ladies to my list of things to remember not only daily but when packing for the hospital (Not anytime soon mind you but they are on my packing list.)

Great post.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

I did what you said. I tried calling the people of Athens to verify these goddess claims but much like the participants in today's medical field, they're not picking up their phone. Maybe they're out playing golf.

Deb said...

Ha! That's the truth about dermatologists. Especially here in Arizona. Love this post of the five sisters! :o)

PS: Yes, Carrie got a house...thanks to your goddess gift, I'm sure. [wink]

Olga said...

Do they have a private office? Are they HMO? Does medicare cover their services?

BonnieS said...

Does anyone have a spare goat? Thanks, Margaret -- I always enjoying poking fun at the medical profession!

Rois said...

Pasadena- They didn't put you on hold?

BonnieS - I quoted the price of $125 after checking on Craigslist,around here goats are on there all the time.

Joanne said...

I wonder if they have a web site, with testimonials and a contact page? Really, if they want to take their practice into the 21st century, this would be a good move to make.

Susan C said...

And if Panacea doesn't work (but word on the street says she heals all), then there's always Panacetta.

I hope that I won't need these five sisters, but I'm putting them in my hip pocket, just in case.

Shell Sherree said...

Hee hee, Susan!!

I could never have too much of these goddesses, Margaret. Health of mind, body and soul is very precious.

rlkris said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
claire said...

I simply love this post. I will undoubtedly create a little altar for these five fabulous sisters :-) The time is coming for my checkup which always feels me with dread.
They will be my body-guards. Thank you!

uwant2gogo said...

Delightful, as always, Ms. Begin Again!

I vote for these divine dames to start their own Goddess Med Spa!

altadenahiker said...

There's some phobia word to go along with that fear of blood pressure cup. I have it too. In fact, I can conjure it up just sitting here at the computer.

WV: Parmica. The sixth sister.

Petrea said...

I'm with Desiree, you goddess, you. And I'd love to see a spa where we could all go visit these goddesses (a "Goddess Lounge", maybe?) It would be dreamy.

I don't know what a blood pressure cup is. Off too Google.

Cafe Pasadena said...

One of my fav writings from you! Please begin another, again.

uwant2gogo said...

@ Petrea - The Goddess Lounge sounds delightful; a place where you could drink all the champagne and eat all the chocolate you wanted and the Goddesses would take care of all the bad side effects.

I want to go right now....

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gaelikaa said...

Lovely people, the Greeks. The Romans robbed all their goddesses and renamed them. That was not hot!