8/9/10

Women Who Stare Down Messy Houses

Well, friends, I'm going to be honest with you. I am just back from a week at the beach. I understand that not everyone has the time or resources to take a vacation and I that I should be brimming with gratitude.

But let me you: what I'm feeling now is not gratitude. What I am feeling now is terror.

The dust bunnies have actually done it this time. They have taken over.

Here you see them devouring what was once a lovely needle-pointed cushion:




Here -- in an even bolder strike -- you see them chasing away the dog. She tried her best to fend them off, but they're monsters I tell you -- Monsters.




Most horrifying of all, here you see their devil minions coating my table. If you get close enough you can hear them coughing. They are so evil that they are even allergic to themselves.



On Facebook yesterday, I noted that I was staring down a messy house and my sister said that that was actually the title of Julia Roberts' newest movie: "Women Who Stare Down Messy Houses." Then she gave me this great advice -- advice that she always follows because she is an exemplary person. She said that you should clean your house before you go on vacation so that it will be nice and tidy when you get home.

Sigh.

Do I need to mention again that she is the exemplary sister?

I am the sister communicating with dirt. And I think it can use the Force.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

24 comments:

Stacey @ Entropified said...

Oh, yes. Obi's the one to call.

I have to say (sorry), that I agree with your sister. Not that I always clean before I leave on a vacation, but when I do, OH, it is just divine when you walk in and everything is in order. And then of course, everyone just throws their suitcases around, and just opens them up wherever they are and start living out of them and put nothing away and
and
and
then the magic's gone

Rois said...

I said the same thing as Stacey on Facebook.Yeah I start out by leaving the house all tidy and welcoming but once we unload the car it is all over baby,like all over the house messes.
Our boys left for camp this morning and do not return until Saturday. So the house will be tidy until then but then once they come staggering with their packs it will be a different story,desert sand and camp stench.A smell you don't want to know.Teen boys who for go all hygiene for 6 days is a big stink.

altadenahiker said...

Albert's on his way; dust bunnies don't scare him at all. (Yours haven't cut their teeth yet, right?)

Petrea said...

We should start a support group. There would be alcohol.

Shell Sherree said...

Hahaha!! Have you ever considered needle-felting your dust bunnies, Margaret?

Deb said...

Hahaha...yeah, I agree with the advice to clean before you leave for vacation, but I'm usually running around like a crazy woman trying to pack and get ready with no additional time for cleanng! Good luck with those dust bunnies!!! ;o)

Olga said...

I have a friend who once hired the teenager who did yard work for her to house sit with the stipulation that only family could be invited over. His rationalization, "My friends ARE my family," did not go over well with the home owners of a party trashed house. Moral of the story: it can always be worse. So make friends with those dust bunnies.

Desiree said...

I'll take women who stare down messy houses over men who stare at goats any day.

Jess said...

I have a daughter who turns 3 next month and another who just learned to crawl- and a puppy. I am in a constant state of saying one of these three things: "No no no no! Don't put that in your mouth!" "Please don't throw that on the floor!" and "Eew what is (or was) that?!"

Petrea said...

You know, Margaret, it's the desert of southern California. Every time we open our windows the dust comes in. We either have to hermetically seal our homes or live with the dirt, and I've given over to the dirt.

Speaking of giving over, your dust bunnies remind me of a certain Finnegan pooch.

Jean Spitzer said...

That's right, Petrea. It's just part of living in a place where you want to keep you're windows open most of the time.

Margaret said...

I always intend to clean before I leave, but that would actually entail cleaning. So it's a conflict.

Rois: Maybe you can hang those car fresheners around your boys' necks.

AH: Alas, they have cut their teeth. Hence all the dog fur in the bunnies.

Petrea: That sounds like my kind of support group.

Shell: So crafty! Yes, I will needle-felt the bunnie, turning dirt into high art.

Olga: Always the optimist!

Jess I've been there! Good luck to you -- and watch where you step.

Petrea: Yes! The bunnies took a big chunk out of her fur. It was horrible.

Daisy said...

Looks a lot like my house Margaret! :-) My motto is: Don't clean until it's totally embarrassing.

Margaret said...

Daisy: Words to live by.

Rois said...

LOL! Oh the visual of it!

Pasadena Adjacent said...

I've done the clean house thing. Once, even stocking the fridge before I left. Of course the fridge dropped dead five minutes after we walked out the door. That special on game hens? Even Pine sol (recommended by the LA coroner) couldn't sweeten the horror. Put the refrigerator on the curb

uwant2gogo said...

Clean the house before I go away? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That. Will never. Ever. Happen. I am infamous for staying up all night packing before a trip.

However,I do feel your dust bunny pain. Since I'd always rather go to the museum than clean my house, I just had to do a blitzkrieg on my office/guest room (a.k.a The Black Hole of Calcutta). I think I had fourth-generation dust bunnies in there. Oh, the horror.

... daisy... said...

Your perfect sister is like my mum and I always pull her leg by saying: are you tiding up for the burglars? ;-)))
Instead they're right, but I'm afraid I get my welcome by my dust bunnies too whenever I leave and get back home. I feel less alone though... ;))) And I wonder and think of all the fun they had when partying!

偉曹琬 said...

只要有心,人人可以是熱門blog!!!..................................................................

Pasadena Adjacent said...

.....oh yea, and someone took it (the refrigerator)

Margaret said...

PA: You are my inspiration.

gaelikaa said...

I'm having exactly that problem right now - well just dust and not dust bunnies. At least you've been on vacation, Margaret. I've no excuse!

phoebat said...

i've always been the (insanely) "exemplary sister". needing order and cleanliness to the point of not being able to relax until that house was in the condition. several weeks ago (actually 2 weeks, 2 days, 6 hours, 14 minutes)i had a heart attack. i've had to rest for that time and return to work today (terrified i won't be able to maintain calm). i had to watch the dust balls grown and accumulate and they did take over. last night i got one room cleaned and then felt awful.
clean feels great. but staring those tumbleweeds down has its purpose as well. maybe there's a middle in there where a few bunnies can scamper without ones sense of place in the universe crumbling.
much appreciation for the post.

Margaret said...

Phoebat: Sorry to hear about your recent health problem. Yes, we must find that middle ground. Take good care and thanks for your visit.