2/28/11

Margaret's Big Oscar Night

Colin Firth at 2009 Venice Film FestivalImage via WikipediaFirst of all, I want to say thank you to everyone for your kind and supportive words and thoughts. I know you've all been thinking about me and my secret boyfriend Colin Firth. Would he finally win his Academy Award after being so cruelly cheated last year? Could I take it if he lost? And what's with the Italian supermodel always by his side? Could she just give it a rest already?

Thankfully, as you probably know, he won. Of course he won. I never doubted that he would win. Being so tall and all.

Of course, I was also so grateful that my other secret boyfriend Ewan McGregor didn't show up. Imagine how awkward that would have been. It would have been Bridget Jone's Diary all over. You know, the part where my secret boyfriend Colin fights that lout Hugh Whatshisname! But it would have been my secret boyfriend Colin and my secret boyfriend Ewan: throwing punches, tearing each other's shirts, getting all sweaty.

Actually, maybe I could live with that.

No! No! Of course not ! I would have felt awful! And who would I root for? Colin? I mean it was his night. But I firmly believe Ewan should have been nominated for "The Ghost Writer," so you know, maybe if he won the fight it would right things just a little. Plus, they did make Colin look kind of old and dour for "The King's Speech," wheeras in "The Ghost Writer" I got to see Ewan's butt? Shouldn't that count for something?

But, luckily, it was Colin's night all along. And he sounded so self effacing and English (which is always such a good combination.) Besides, Ewan is probably motorcycling in Africa, so he's probably totally cool with Colin's win anyway. Ewan is totally big that way.

So, yes, you can stop worrying about me. I'm just fine, my secret boyfriends are fine, and my husband? He's a very good sport. In fact, the truth is, he's much better than my secret boyfriends combined! That's right. You read that, sweetie? MUCH BETTER. Ok. Oh! Honey, I think one of the children has your iPhone. You better check it out. Right now. No need to read more. I'm done. All done. Ok. So. Bye.

(Is he gone? Truth is, he is better, but no cute accent, then again, no Italian supermodel hanging off his arm either. So there you go.)


Enhanced by Zemanta

26 comments:

Lo said...

Two lovely secret boyfriends and a real husband who is better than both of them.....wow....... I oh so envy you.

Lindsay N. Currie said...

OMG this made me laugh out loud. I love Colin Firth and seeing him win was. . .awesome. Here's to hoping we meet up at a conference, we can drool over him together:)

Joanne said...

Is that the TMZ camera crew pulling up at your house? They want to get a shot of this girlfriend of Firth and McGregor. I didn't send them over. Really. Well ... No, I didn't. Well, not first, anyway.

Patrizzi Intergarlictica said...

Oh Margaret, Margaret...

Cafe Pasadena said...

Secret boy friend?? I 2nd the TMZ reports. Something about a "secret" sex tape???

No doubt. Weirder things have come true.

JCK said...

Secret boyfriends keep us going...

Petrea said...

Margaret, you make me laugh. (JCK made me laugh, too.) As for the Italian supermodel, I'm following her on Twitter. And my WV is "exoti."

Vanda said...

Margaret! We have the same secret boyfriends!!! Btw, is there any movie with Ewan in it where he doesn't drop trou? I bet that even Star Wars has some deleted scenes featuring his butt (or other bits). Gotta love him.

IT Tips said...

Its great to see that people are sharing quite profitable information with each other and now we can move our selves to a new era.

Kid Rock Tickets

Daisy said...

Margaret, this is the best article about the Oscars that I've read so far. And...I think you are better than any Italian supermodel.

Deb @ PaperTurtle said...

Margaret. You are freaking hilarious my dear. Hahaha...

"being so tall and all..."

Jean Spitzer said...

If you are going to have a secret boyfriend or two, these are probably the most benign kind to have. Good choice--and congratulations on SBF's win the other night.

altadenahiker said...

As if any of us will be able to hear Colin's name FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES and not think of you. We go to see the King's Speech and all we can think about is -- oh there's Margaret's secret boyfriend pretending to stutter.

(And don't think I wasn't aware why you were all full of the giddy and exclamation points yesterday.)

(P.S. Steve is cuter.)

Petrea said...

I agree with IT Tips.

Olga said...

Congratulations. You and Colin are forever linked in my mind--I don't even see the Italian supermodel.

Now this:
That's right. You read that, sweetie? MUCH BETTER. Ok. Oh! Honey, I think one of the children has your iPhone. You better check it out. Right now. No need to read more. I'm done. All done. Ok. So. Bye.
OMG...Absolutely BRILLIANT. I wish I could think of devious little plaoys like that, but at least I can steal them from you!

Pasadena Adjacent said...

this frightens me

Margaret said...

Every time I click on my blog, I'm so shocked and unraveled. There is my secret boyfriend, looking right at me!

AH: At least you saw my secret boyfriend's movie, for which he won an Oscar. In case you didn't know. !!!!!!!!!!

PA: this frightens you? Is it because you're worried Ewan will give Colin a black eye? He is very spry, that Ewan. But Colin is so gosh darn tall, that, you know, he could just lean out of the way.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

someone needs a nap

TheChieftess said...

Definitely a spewing kind of moment...fortunately, not drinking coffee or wine...or anything!!! Colin deserves his win!!! And Ewan...well...I think I want to see that movie!!!

Monica said...

Nice blog, hi there, i found that there is one website offering free puzzle game. Just take one minute to sign up then you will receive one free puzzle game. I've done it and now i am enjoying it. Would you like one? Enter the below URL to get one:http://www.684899.com/en/CosmicCreature/project_1.htm

Cafe Pasadena said...

You know, those cheekbones of Colin's, and, well, I seem to see a resemblance to your previous blog post subject! Maybe, just maybe, Petrea was a mother after all.
I see where your mutual admiration may be coming from, MF.

Just saying... Weirder, much crazier things have happened in this world.

WritingNut said...

Hehehe.. I loved this! I've absolutely loved Colin Firth since he was Mr. Darcy... le sigh...

... daisy... said...

Oh he is so DASHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't wait for the movie to be shown in English... otherwise I will have to wait for the DVD of the King's Speech to come out!

Desiree said...

Hysterical!

Tony Van Helsing said...

Perhaps there should be a special catergory for an actor getting their butt out, then Ewan would have been in with a chance.

Susan Campisi said...

Colin looks so cute in that picture. It was wise of you to stay out of frame so, you know, your secret would remain a secret. But clearly he was happy to have you by his side. You're a lucky woman, Margaret! Mostly because you have a very understanding, supportive husband (and two hot secret boyfriends).