Goddess of the Week: Parvati

Shiva and Parvati as depicted in a paintingImage via WikipediaToday is my anniversary. Alas, my husband is 3,000 miles away on business, but I'm giving him a goddess because that's a present we can afford! I'm giving him Parvati, the Hindu goddess of marriage.

Parvati was created to be the consort of Shiva. Unfortunately, Shiva wasn't too into her, but Parvati was a determined goddess and did her best to win him over. She cooked for him. She did his laundry. She darned his socks. She cleaned his house and never made him vacuum or do the dishes. She even cleaned the rain gutters and learned basic plumbing so that he never needed to waste money on a plumber.

Alas, Shiva was still not interested because he had become a cave dwelling ascetic who renounced all pleasure and existed off, like, one grain of rice every six weeks. So, Parvati decided to cultivate a shared interest and became an ascetic herself. She moved into a cave. She dressed in black and read depressing novels and ate one grain of rice every three months.

Shiva remained unimpressed. Parvati decided she would woo him with her beauty. She went for a total physical transformation. She had the gods turn her skin gold, lost twenty pounds, and had a boob job.

Finally, Shiva noticed! He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and married her.

Well, my dear Steve, here's to you! You may not have Parvati. I don't really clean much. I have no home maintenance skills. I'm a so-so cook. Let's face it, I'm a bit too selfish to cultivate shared interests. (Bob Dylan? I'm sorry. He sounds like he has a painful sinus infection.) And damn it all to hell, if I'm not losing twenty pounds for me, why would I lose them for anyone else?

BUT Too bad for you! You knew what you were getting when you signed up, and there's no backing out now. I have one goal in life: That's to die before you. I will do that if it kills me.

But enough about death, here's to our life together: I promise to love you and cherish you, to only go crazy when you can be sane, to never again sneak oatmeal into meatballs, laugh at your sun hat, or stick a loud clock up to year ear when you are sleeping. I promise to save you a piece of cheesecake and to, at least occasionally, maybe on holidays, let you choose what to watch on TV (except for local news; don't even try it).

Happy anniversary, my love, from your devoted (in a totally feminist and not self-denying sort of way) wife,


Need a goddess! A got goddesses! Post a comment explaining what you need or want a goddess for. Then check back in a week or two and see what you got. It's fun! It's free! Go! Now! Post!
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claire said...

Happy Birthday, Margaret! Many happy returns. Great goddess, Parvati. I have no doubt that you're infinitely more fun to live with :-)

Rob said...

Cool story and happy anniversary!

Deb @ Paper Turtle said...

As I read along I wondered how much you, yourself were actually like Parvati. Thanks for bringing it back around in perfect-Margaret-fashion.

Happy anniversary to you and your lucky hubby! xo

Petrea Burchard said...

Lucky Steve! Lucky Margaret!
Happy Anniversary. I hope the two of you can share some tasty cole slaw when he returns.

Daisy said...

Happy Anniversary Margaret and Steve! As Claire said Margaret, I too think you are probably more fun than Parvati. (No offence intended to her!)

Shell Sherree said...

Happy anniversary to you and Steve! Parvati could learn a thing or two from you, Margaret, including the benefits of cheesecake over rice.

Olga said...

Great tribute to a marriage. happy anniversary.
I received the book. I really like it enough to get myself my own copy when i pass it along. I do like to cook.

Star said...

Happy Anniversary! Loved the post, brought tears (of joy) to my eyes.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

He got a good deal.

"to only go crazy when you can be sane" sound advise and what truly keeps marriages together.

altadenahiker said...

Thank you for sharing this with us. (And he lets you keep all those secret boyfriends.)

Cafe Pasadena said...

all those secret boyfriends, indeed. and not so secret when he's outta town! ;)

congrats on the anniversary. here's to another 30 yrs.

Bec said...

Congratulations on your anniversary! Wonderful tribute to your husband :)

Stacey @ Entropified said...

What happens when you put oatmeal in meatballs?

Desiree said...

The goddess doth protest too too much--

Cafe Pasadena said...

Any idea how many Goddesses are still available, MF??

West Coast Grrlie Blather said...

Happy Anniversary! I trust you will celebrate when S returns.

Margaret said...

Thanks to everyone for you nice wishes. My hubby is home and we are going out tonight.

Rob: THanks for joining us.

Stacy: Perhaps others have had more success with adding oatmeal to meatballs, but it made my meatballs so heavy that we were wishing for a catapault so that we could fling them about.

Pup: There are so many goddesses that I haven't even mentioned yet. Many goddess from pre-literate societies are almost lost to us. We may know from archeological evidence that they were worshipped, but beyond that we know little.

Susan Campisi said...

Happy belated anniversary! I'm glad you didn't have to resort to Parvati's desperate acts to win Steve's love. He's got more sense than Shiva.

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