Margaret's advice for summer

Cover of "Summer Fun (VALUE BOOKS)"
Cover of Summer Fun (VALUE BOOKS)
Summer is a punishing time for parents.  It is filled with either varied camps and classes that require complex carpools and schedules or long stretches of family togetherness that serve mostly to highlight everyone's most annoying qualities.

But fear not!  I have you covered!  These five easy steps will keep you humming all the way through to Labor Day.

1.  Fill your days with screen time.  The American Medical Association recommends that children be limited to one hour of screen time per day.  But hey, if you are a member of the AMA you are clearly an over achiever and have spent very little actual time with your children.  And whose health are you thinking about anyway, because you are certainly not thinking about mine.

2.  Make reading before bedtime mandatory.  Sure.  Reading is good and all that, but people often don't realize that if you make children read before bedtime, you will actually have more time to watch TV without them, and, thus, you will finally be able to watch something that doesn't involve people getting hernias by trying to sing way beyond their range.

3.  You can maximize step two by also requiring early bedtimes.

4.  Encourage wholesome exercise.  If the children exercise, they will not be in your house.  That's a win every way you look at it.

5.  Above all, remember that love in a family comes from spending time together, but also in not spending too much time together.  So encourage your children to make friends, and encourage them to make friends with kids whose parents will invite them to interesting outings and adventures because that will save you time and money.  And isn't the summer memory that you will cherish most?

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Desiree said...

I am having a similar problem. EVERYONE is at home! I have escaped, for screen time at the library.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Do you get those crappy talent shows as well? Lots of karaoke pub singers murdering decent songs live on air. It's a travesty.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

Sage advice make friends with kids whose parents have second homes (and swimming pools)

....excellent observation on members of the AMA.

Rois said...

Our boys will be gone for a total of four weeks this summer,spread out with one week breaks in between them.I feel like the luckiest Mama on the block.I keep checking the calendar,is it time yet?Is it time yet?

This is the year I am very happy the boys joined Boy Scouts,it's finally paying off.

Petrea Burchard said...

Thank you for making me feel good about the choices I've made, Margaret.

Jean Spitzer said...

There's a definite upside to not having school-age children.

You've definitely got a workable plan for dealing with those overly long summer days.

Also good to trade sleep-overs with another family.

Ms M said...

Good advice! And good luck :-)

Daisy said...

Summer? What advice do you have for those of us stuck in "June-uary"?

Anonymous said...

Margaraet, put them to work,Im sure there is a pile of laundry and a bunch of dust bunnies with their names on them

Olga said...

I forwarded these tips to my daughter, but she wanted to add a tip about setting up visits to grandma's house.

Star said...

Oh...now I understand why we had to go to bed at sunny summertime 7 P.M., while everyone else was still outside playing. We could read, if we wanted to (and I did), but we couldn't get out of bed, and that was that.

Shell Sherree said...

Having children sounds almost do-able your way, Margaret.

Susan Campisi said...

Funny and effective tips! I'm passing them on to my sisters.