Although the new year is traditionally a time of assessing new opportunities, reports of "flu epidemics" have resulted in a "hunker down" mentality that is having serious market consequences.
On the upside, while the productivity of workers with bad colds has been decreased, opportunities for finding a warm spot on the couch are almost unlimited.
Likewise, said workers have been shown to possess a generous tendency to spill food, which always means increased opportunities for investors willing to hit the ground running.
On the downside, bosses seem to be in poor spirits due to the decreased productivity of the members of their team, and since poor spirits translate into late meals, half-hearted rubbies, and lackluster walkies, investors looking to increase their status in a volatile environment may do best to stay in the shadows.
As of yet, said "flu epidemic" has bypassed California, meaning that investors in other geographic regions may have it even worse. But since the CEO is making his way home from the east coast via BOSTON, the flu headquarters of the nation, investors may find commodities the most promising market of all, which is why we are sending out a buy offer on Orange Juice, chicken soup, hand sanitizer and Advil.
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16 comments:
Sorry, I only follow cat reports.
Times are tough, but I have it from a numerology report that this is going to be a much better financial year for me. Does Scout do numerology?
If said investor invests in healthy alternative preventive concoctions...said investor is sure to "weather" the proverbial storm!!!
Scout has a compliicated, data driven system that focuses on statistics. It is beyond me.
I miss my banana plant. Now I don't know where to turn.
I thought you meant a girl Scout cookie report! :(
Does Scout do hedge funds, too?
Thank goodness for Scout. Without her I wouldn't know where to turn, now that Hiker's banana plant is gone.
Scout sounds very observant, very wise. I'm sure she will be well-prepared to weather any storm that arrives from Boston :)
Astute! No wonder Scout is in MENSA!
What a smart little pup your Scout is! And cute too (love the photo!). Sorry to hear that you've all been under the weather, but glad to hear your trusty companion seems to have it all under control! ;o)
Got my first flu shot ever this year - hoping it bypasses our family!
Got my first flu shot ever this year - hoping it bypasses our family!
Got my first flu shot ever this year - hoping it bypasses our family!
This Scout is one very wise puppy. My money's on her!
I hate when I'm late for The Scout Report. She's so good at finding opportunities in an otherwise down market. Scout might feel otherwise (because of said opportunities), but I hope the CEO and the rest of the team escaped the flu.
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