Goddess of the Week: Tykhe

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Once upon a time there was a bank manager who had recently been downsized. He was gardening in the backyard when he stumbled upon a treasure that had been buried and forgotten centuries before. The downsized bank manager was so excited that he made an altar to Gaia, mother earth.

Standing in front of the altar, he said, "Woo Hoo! Thank you, Gaia! Now I can rehire my gardener and never touch dirt again!"

Tykhe, the Greek goddess of good fortune, found out about this and got totally pissed. She was all, "Gaia, Gaia, Gaia. Everyone always thanks Gaia. What about me? Could that guy have even found that treasure without me? No. And that's not all. Ten bucks says that guy blows his entire fortune in Las Vegas and fricking blames me."

So Tykhe pulled a few strings and got the IRS to audit the guy.

Some people don't believe luck. I do. How else can you explain that my mother-in-law wins things all the time. She just won a GPS system. Over the years, she's won televisions, cameras, hams and luggage. Once she even won $5,000. I, on the other hand, win nothing. It can't just be coincidence or the fact that I never actually enter contests. My mother-in-law is lucky. That's all there is too it.

I hate to say this, but writers -- actually artists in general -- need luck. Sure, they need talent. Sure, they need to hustle and network and have good query letters and elevator pitches and, I'm quite convinced that good hair and cheekbones don't hurt. But they also need luck, which includes good timing, connections, the proper alignment of the constellations, and naturally good hair and cheekbones.

If, like me, however, you are unlucky and with kind of low-hanging doughy cheeks, you can still try and channel Tykhe. Woo her with hard work (luck does, indeed, favor the prepared), humility, and gratitude. Also, chocolate never hurts. But don't give her vampire books. She's sick of those. Then, if you're lucky, your audience will find you and recognize you for the genius that you are. If not...well...remember, success is not measured by the number of pages published, but by the number of friends damning the entire publishing industry on your behalf.

Channel this goddess: Always. Ingratitude for the luck you already have is the quickest route to misfortune.

Desiree: This one's for you! I thought I'd go kind of a different route. What d'ya think?

Need a goddess: I got goddesses! Leave me comment telling me what you need your goddess for or who you need her for. I'll get you what you need.