Goddess of the Week: Venus

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This from Posey: "Which goddess, in your opinion, has the most courage and is a strong mother."

Well, Posey, this one took some thinking. Goddesses are, by definition, courageous. You don't get to be omnipotent by running at the first sight of trouble or freezing like a deer in the headlights and waiting to get bowled over. I'm an expert at both so you'll have to trust me on this. Likewise, mama goddesses are tough cookies. You would not want to mess with them or their children. You wouldn't last long.

Still, a choice must be made, and I choose Venus, the Roman goddess of love.

I know what you are thinking. Venus? That floozy? That airy beauty rising from a fricking clamshell? What could I possibly be thinking.

Let me tell you. In a world of war and starvation and suffering and fires and swine flus and countless big and little disappointments, it takes courage to live a life of joy. And that's what Venus does, she lives a life of joy and tells you that you can too. When Zeus made her marry the smith god Hapheastus, a god she was really not suited to at all, although she did like the bling he made her, she did not plop down on her throne and live a life of martyrdom. No. She found ways to have fun. She fooled around, but so did all the gods and most of the goddesses, except for Hera (totally miserable jealous cow) and virginal Artemis and Athena (both of whom defined themselves in terms of male values like martial strength and intellectual cunning. Translation: boring, boring, boring).

Other deities were all "Oh, let me show you the size of my thunderbolt" and "Oh, look how many villages I can destroy with my awesome control over the weather. " But who among them had fun? Who among them refused to give up on joy, on love, on beauty, on the possibility that life can be something more than a wet and muddy ride through discomfort, pain, and suffering? Venus.

Venus gives you permission to pull your head out of the sand and the smoky clouds and the dirt, or whatever gloomy place you happen to find yourself and see the beauty that remains. She gives you permission to walk forward knowing that, sure, good times end, but bad times end too. Somewhere, ahead of you, there is an arrow with your name on it, and it will bring you love, and it will show you beauty, and you will have joy. Maybe these things are sometimes fleeting, but who the hell cares. That's the crocus in winter.

You could, of course, find this small solace, especially when things seem bad. But that's why holding fast to joy and taking responsibility for your own happiness takes courage. And that's why Venus is the most courageous of all the gods and goddesses.

As for the strong mother part, well, that is very easy. The Romans believed that Venus was their mother. They believed that her son Aeneus was the founder of Rome. A Trojan, she helped him escape the pillaging of Troy by the Athenians and led him through a tumultuous journey to the Italian peninsula. She protected him even in death, receiving permission from Zeus to make him a god. Even then, she always looked out after the Roman people, which is why they called her Venus Genetrix, Venus the mother.

Channel Venus: When things look bleak. Claim joy. Claim love. Claim happiness. No one else can do that for you. So take them. Also, when the perils of motherhood seem too steep. Motherhood wasn't easy for Venus; why should it be easy for you. Strength in motherhood comes from finding strength in yourself and the courage to believe that one day your children will be independent and living on their own.

Posey: Whaddya think?

Need a goddess: Let me find you one! Leave me comment telling me what you need. I'll see what I can do.

Goddess of the Week: Demeter

Motherhood is not a television sitcom. It is not twenty-minute segments of hilarity followed by the perfect and permanent resolution of problems. Motherhood is a hard business. Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise. Just ask the Greek goddess Demeter.

When her own brother Hades, lord of the underworld, kidnapped and married her beloved daughter Persephone, Demeter wandered the earth searching for clues to her disappearance. When she finally discovered the truth of her brother's crime, she found no sympathy on Mount Olympus. No goddesses cried for her. No gods came running to her aid. Accustomed to the sexual politics of conquest, at which most of them excelled so well, the immortals of ancient Greece threw Demeter and Persephone straight under the bus.

But Demeter was no June Cleaver or Carol Brady. She did not put her faith in laugh tracks and meatloaf. She put it in vengeance. The goddess of all green and growing things, she threatened to let the natural world die if she didn't get her daughter back. (Not a total psycho-bitch she secretly taught humans how to harvest grain so they could survive lean times.) Well, even the gods knew that there was no fun in omnipotence if there was no around to worship you, so the king of the gods, Zeus (Demeter's other brother), eventually capitulated and told Hades he had to give Persephone back.

Alas, Persephone had eaten three pomegranate seeds and once one eats in Hades one belongs to Hades. (Remember that the next time you're deciding where to dine.) A deal was made. Persephone would spend three months a year in Hades (one for each seed) and the rest of the time with Demeter. Each winter trees and plants wither and die because Demeter is once again mourning the loss of her daughter, and then Spring returns because Persephone is given back.

Isn't that motherhood right there? Sunny days interspersed with sadness and mourning. One day everything is lollipops and blue skies, and the next day you're cleaning vomit out of your ear or wondering how your charming offspring can be so consistently under-appreciated by teachers, peers and college admission officers. And that's if you're lucky. That's if your lollipops and blue skies aren't interspersed with demons like chemo or drugs or depression or whatever ugly hobglobbin is invading your happy home.

Channel the goddess Demeter: When overwhelmed by the demands of caregiving. She's been feeling your pain for thousands of years and she understands good times and bad times are always cyclical, which means the bad times always pass, but, then, so do the good ones.

Need a goddess? Is there an issue that plagues you? Is there a place in your life where you need more inspiration? More appreciation? More support? Tell me your need and I will find you your goddess.