Goddess of the Week: Lakshmi

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Carrie needs a real estate goddess, a goddess who can help her deal with all of the stresses of buying a home. Ok, Carrie. I was torn here. I was tempted to throw you Hestia, the goddess of the hearth, but we just did her. Read here. Instead, I'm recommending Lakshmi, the Indian goddess of wealth and prosperity who also looks out for family well-being.

You know how you can churn cream to get butter? Well, this one time, the gods decided to churn the cosmic ocean to get all the good stuff hidden inside. They used a mountain and a snake to do the churning, and it took them one hundred years, and they did get lots of good stuff, and one of the good things that just popped out of the cosmic ocean was Lakshmi. She was all golden and she had four arms and money just sprouted out of her fingertips, and wherever she went things turned out awesome.

The god Vishnu took one look at her and he was all, "Hey, baby. How you doing?" She married him, but the demons were totally pissed because she was all golden and had four arms and money sprouted out of her fingertips. So they always tried to catch her -- and sometimes they did, and sometimes they do, but no one can hold onto Lakshmi for very long. She's slippery that way. But while she is hard to catch, a few "Hey, babies" work. Lakshmi is actually very willing to hang out with you -- for a while -- if you treat her nice and aren't a jerk, which is why she is one of the most worshipped goddesses in India, where family altars for her are common.

The point being, when buying a home, you need to throw Lakshmi some sugar. Do that, and she will reveal to you the immortal truth churned out of the cosmic ocean alongside her: When investing in real estate, remember: Location, location, location. Plus, check out the neighbors. Good neighbors are priceless.

Good luck.

Need a goddess: I got goddesses! Post a comment detailing your need. I'll see what I can find.