Goddess of the Week: Devi

Cafe Pasadena wants to know if there is one all purpose, multi-function goddess. Who can blame him? The good thing about monotheism is that it streamlines the whole worship process. There's no this temple for love, that temple for war, this sacrifice to the hearth goddess, that sacrifice to the lava goddess. Monotheism is like the supermarket -- it just makes things easier -- and the supermarket of goddesses is the Hindu goddess Devi.

Image via Wikipedia

Devi is kind of like Plastic man. She can look however she wants. By doing so, she can be whatever kind of goddess you need. She can have ten arms and be the goddess Durga if you need a warrior. She can have blood-red eyes and be Kali if you need some destruction and/or rebirth. She can put on a party dress and look all June Cleaver if you need Parvati, the good mom. I could go on and on. She can become your water goddess, your wealth goddess, your boons goddess, your compassion goddess. You could channel any of these manifestations of Devi, or you could just go straight to Devi and channel her. It just depends upon your need.

Let's say, for example, you need cash. The manifestation of Devi you need would be Lakshmi. Shibang. Channel her. But let's say you're a fricking mess. Not only do you need cash, but you need to be nice to your kid who everybody is teasing, you need to kick some butt with the administration of her school because they're doing nothing about it, you need to find your kid a new school so that she can have a fresh start, and, to top it all off, your toilet is overflowing. In that case, you can straight-up channel Devi. (Then, for godsake, get yourself some wine because you need a fricking drink.)

Devi reminds us that we, too, are more than the sum of our parts. We may be daughters, partners, mothers, workers, lushes -- we may be many things. But, always, we are fricking Helen Reddy Women! Hear us roar! And don't be messing with our blood-red bent on destruction eyes. Out of them, whole worlds are born.

Channel this goddess: when a piece-meal goddess just won't do, when you need the whole package to save your flipping mind. Also, when multi-tasking.

Need a goddess: I got goddesses! Post a request and I'll see what I can do.

Also: You might want to read my thoroughly ungoddess-related opinion essay in today's Pasadena Star News.

Goddess of the Week: Devi

Image by premasagar via Flickr

You want a life of blue skies and applesauce? Get a goldfish. Want decades of heartache and anxiety? Try having children. Sure, motherhood has its moments, but they are mini-armistices interspersed between frantic days and exhausted nights. You can try doing this work without a goddess, but you can make margaritas without alcohol too. They question is, why?

There are many fabulous mother goddesses, but for mothers feeling as stretched out as a cheap bra, I'd recommend the Hindu goddess Devi. Devi actually evolved from last week's goddess, Shakti, and she is a composite of the goddesses, Parvati, Durga and Kali. She takes the form of each depending on the need. As Parvati, she's a loving mother and wife. She embodies infinite patience and kindness. As Durga, she's a warrior goddess; she's tough but just, except when she gets really pissed off and Kali pops out of her head and starts spilling blood (but only the blood of demons and annoying drivers who give you mean looks when they think you're taking too long to pull out a parking space -- like they even know how much time it takes to strap kids into car seats and collapse a double stroller. Damn them. They totally deserve a few minutes in a dark alley with Kali.)

As a great three-in-one goddess, Devi understands that there is no need to be a hero. A hero thinks he can do everything by himself, but that's why heroes get beaten up by monsters, stranded on desert islands or frozen to death in blizzards. Why be a hero when you can be a goddess? Devi says don't even try to do it alone. Let your goddess sisters help you. In fact, you can even let your minor gods help you. They won't know when to pop out of your head and kill demons like the goddesses. The minor gods are often surprisingly dense when it comes to reading goddess minds, or even body language or verbal cues. They're just sometimes stupid that way. But minor gods are often very willing. They just need direction. That being said, if you must do it alone, know this, you have everything inside you that you need. You are what you need. After all, you're a goddess.

Channel this goddess: when juggling life's demands, especially those involving motherhood, when you feel like you have to be everything to everyone, and when you are feeling insecure about what you can actually do.

Coppertop: This goddess is for you. I hope you like her.

Need a goddess: I am at your beck and call! Leave a message in the comments section and I'll see what I can find.