Goddess of the Week: Aphrodite

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Ah, love. What a messy business. It topples kings and governors. It inspires poems and pop songs and trips to Argentina. In its way, it is the great equalizer, for it is something to which we all aspire; it indiscriminately makes fools of high and low, rich and poor, male and female. Still, as Bridget Jones notes, it's better than dying alone and being eaten by an Alsatian.

If it is love that you are after, the goddess for you is the Greek goddess Aphrodite. Actually, there are many ancient love goddesses. The Egyptians had Isis, the Sumerians had Ishtar, the Norse had Freya, the Hindus had Radha, and the Romans had Venus, but they are all variations on a theme, proving that the quest for the perfect partner is both universal and timeless. That being the case, let's choose Aphrodite; she has so many good stories. For example:

Once there was a princess who wanted nothing to do with love. She was a career gal all the way. The kind you really want to hate: beautiful, wealthy, athletic, heir to the throne. She vowed never to marry. Her father, the king, was totally not cool with that idea.

"Atalanta, you're a princess, of course you must marry. I have a dynasty to think of."

Atalanta could not have cared less about dynasty, but her father was a bit of a hard-ass so she made him a deal. "Ok," she said, "I'll marry. I'll marry whoever can beat me in a foot race."

"Fine," said the king.

"But whoever I beat has to die," said Atalanta.

"Ok," said the king. "It's a deal."

Now, there are many fathers these days who are truly engaged with their daughters. These are the fathers who coach soccer and take their girls to lunch and show up for parent-teacher conferences. These are good fathers, and they truly know their children. Atalanta's father was not one of these. He was an old man who knew nothing about his daughter. He did not know, for example, that she was a Hellenistic Carl Lewis. She could run. Fast. She was unbeatable. And remorseless. Prince after hero after prince after hero came -- each one stupider than the one before him, each one convinced that even though every other suitor had lost the foot race and then lost his life to Atalanta, HE would be different. HE would win. Every time: HE lost.

Until Hippomenes. Hippomenes knew he would lose, but the minute he saw Atalanta he fell in love with her. So he did what the others suitors failed to do: he prayed to Aphrodite. "Help me," he said. "Help me because I love her."

Aphrodite helped. She gave Hippomenes three golden apples and told him what to do. The day of the race arrived. Atalanta took the lead. Hippomenes threw a golden apple in her path. She stopped to pick it up. Hippomenes edged ahead. Atalanta sprinted forward. Hippomenes threw another apple and, later, another. Hippomenes won. And because Aphrodite likes happy endings, Atalanta fell in love with Hippomenes.

And they lived happily ever after. Except they didn't. The thing is, if you ask a goddess for help, you need to show a little gratitude when you get it. It's basic courtesy. Hippomenes and Atalanta forgot to thank Aphrodite. They imagined that their perfect love was all because they were so perfect themselves. Big mistake. Aphrodite put a little jinx on them so that they felt compelled to make love in another goddess's temple, which was very bad form, very rude. The other goddess got so mad she turned Hippomenes and Atalanta into lions. To this day, they have to pull her around in a golden chariot. They are together and they love each other, which is good, but they are lions in the eternal servitude of a jet-setting, chariot-racing goddess, which is bad. That's the way it goes with goddesses. They are very particular. You must play your card rights at all times.

The lesson here is: If you ask her, Aphrodite will help you. Love is her business and her passion. But nothing is free. Not even love. If you find it, be grateful. Never take it for granted.

Channel this goddess: When the single life has you down, when searching for romance and love and candlelit dinners.

Laiza: This goddess is for you.

Need a goddess? Tell me what you need her for and I'll find the goddess you need.