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A ship in port is safe, but that is not what ships are for.
Nice metaphor, but here's the thing. Just by living, we are forced from our ports. You can go searching for drama or you can wait for it to amble over and find a place on your couch. Your choice. One way or another, it's coming.
So here's what you must do: You must invite the unpleasantries in. Tell them to stop fogging up your windows, to get inside and to get on with things. Acknowledge them. (Really, they're like toddlers; the more you ignore them the louder they'll yell.) Give them cookies. They like that. Pat their heads and then let them go home, and when they are gone, catch your breath. Maybe have some wine. Cuz they're coming back, and they're bringing their friends.
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19 comments:
I'll give mine macarons.
Most of us are luckier than Bhutto, in that our unpleasantries won't kill us. But then again, perhaps most of us will not leave the deep, profound impression she left on the world. Wise woman indeed.
Thank you, Margaret, for another wise post. I think I'll put this quote on my wall.
Benazir was a wise woman all right. And she lived those words ...to the end!
A simple line, with much wisdom indeed. Your post has wisdom too. The more we ignore those darn unpleasantries, the worse they seem to get! Best to face them down.
Thanks Margherita. It's important to remind that people.
Shell: I'll take a few too.
Petrea: Thank you for giving us that perspective. Bhutto was a great woman.
Gaelikaa: She sure did.
Joane: Best to face them down or even just sit with them. I think you're right. It's when we avoid the unpleasantries that they grow like bread dough.
Italo: Thanks.
A port is only safe when the storm is somewhere else. But storms never stay in one place.
I really liked this one, Margaret.
Thought you might be interested to know that The Story of Adam & Eve has been inverted.
According to genetics, the Y male chromosome did not evolve until about 600 million years ago. Until that time we were all female - XX.
A fetus in its first seven weeks of development is female.
The Y male sex chromosome has been atrophying and is only about 1/3 the size of the female X sex chromosome.
Who gnu,
d
I remember her when she took office the first time. How amazed i was that a woman had scored such a position in that society. Of course it didn't last long. I also remember how incredibly beautiful she was.
Giving one's inner demons cookies?
Thanks for making this wonderful woman present again in our remembering. And I agree, "problem children" who are kept busy with cookies can tell us more about ourselves than those we ignore.
This sounds very zen. Head towards the drama, not away from it.
Hm--not sure I'm evolved enough--
I love the idea of giving cookies to one's demons.
I really love this one, Margaret.
I don't know. Feed the demon and it gets bigger, fatter and stronger.
PA: It is counterintuitive to feed the unpleasantries. But think of it less as giving them sustenance and more as giving them compassion and understanding. All I know, is that the more I have avoided and denied the more unpleasantries, the more they have grown in scale, until they finally explode in little mini nervous breakdowns. Feed the unpleasantries cookies, whereby you sit down and actually feel the unpleasantries and the quicker they can pass. I think I've decided that you have to feel what you have to feel. If you don't feel them when they happen, you'll have to pay for it down the road.
Robert d: Fascinating.
After Shakti this is precisely the advice I needed! Thanks!
I guess were both making the same point but from different angles. What I'm saying probably makes more sense in a particular 12 step program (I need to get back to and will tonight) where the point is not to feed the emotion (literally). It's just like you said...but differently
It really comes down to accepting ourselves doesn't it, accepting the good, the bad and the ugly as part of who you are? Then you can step over a pile of deflated what-ifs and go do what you need to do.
Fay
What a wonderful quote. Thanks for sharing!
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