5/3/10

Goddess of the Week: Inana

IshtarImage by seriykotik1970 via Flickr

Raving Witch is getting total grief from her ex-boyfriend. The big jerk! She needs a kick-ass goddess that will help her claim her inner She-Ra.

Only one goddess will do when it comes to relationship problems: Inana. Inana was married to Dumuzi, and she was the total jefe Sumerian deity. She was fricking queen of heaven and earth, and everybody knew that she was not somebody to mess with -- everybody, that is, except her sister, Ereshkigal, who was fricking queen of the underworld.

One day, Inana decided she wanted to visit Ereshkigal down in the underworld. So she says to Dumuzi, "What do you think? Should I go? It's so far away, and you have to take, like, five freeways, and it's rush hour 24/7."

Dumuzi's all, "Go. Have fun. Bond. I'll watch everything up here."

So down Inana goes. But not only is traffic a bitch, but once she gets to the gates of hell she has to give up everything just to get through. She has to give up her cool outfit, her jewelry, her magical powers. By the time she gets to Ereshkigal she's butt naked and doesn't even have gas money.

To make things worse, Ereshkigal kills Inana and hangs her from a meat hook. (And you thought you had sister problems.)

Blah, blah, blah, details, details. Inana pulls a few strings and comes back to life, but the underworld is all about accounting and she can't just leave; no debits allowed. She can only go if she agrees to send another soul in her place. "Fine," she says. "I'll send you someone."

But who could she send? I mean it's not so easy to decide. She spends the entire journey worrying about it. Then, when she steps into the light of day, it's even harder because everywhere, everyone is mourning her. People, animals, plants are weeping, moaning, tearing their hair out because they are desolate. DESOLATE! And who is the most desolate? Who is the most heartbroken? Dumuzi, her beloved husband. Right?

WRONG! That doofus Dumuzi was totally living it up! He was sitting on Inana's throne wearing the awesome cool clothes Inana bought him, drinking the wine Inana invented, and totally flirting with those skanky handmaidens that peeled Inana's grapes.

BASTARD.

But at least Inana figured out who should take her place in hell.

Channel Inana: when the men in your life are acting like snakes. Get your Tough Girl on. Don't put up with their bullshit. You are the goddess. You will thrive. They will take five freeways to hell. And they'll figure out how to get there all by themselves. You don't even have to make them a map.

Need a goddess: I got goddesses! Post a comment about what you need. I'll see what I can do.
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22 comments:

Margaret said...

Sorry to get this so late to you, Raving Witch. We had a bit of family drama here last week. But all is well now.

Barb: I haven't forgotten you! You are next.

Petrea said...

Git dayown, Margaret! I like Inana so much that even though I don't need her at home I think I'll keep her with me for other uses.

I'm glad all is well with you.

Vanda said...

LOL. Moral of the story: Family visits are a b****.

pasadenapio said...

"...five freeways to hell." Love it!

Daisy said...

I was getting worried about you being so quiet Margaret. Glad that whatever chaos was happening is now at peace.

Love Inana! She Rocks! Even if there are no husbands or boyfriends to deal with.

altadenahiker said...

Wonderful yarn! I think my favorite part is "Blah, blah, blah, details, details. Inana pulls a few strings and comes back to life..." You're the goddess of pace.

Stacey Smith said...

Whoa. I think some stuff is gonna be happening.

Petrea said...

I hope this helps Raving Witch. Life is tough enough without grief from people who are supposed to have moved on out of it.

RW, when you check in, if you can spare any details of your experience in applying Inana to your situation, I, for one, am all ears. Seriously. I have ears all over me. I look ridiculous.

Petrea said...

I realize now I sound like I'm looking for gossip. Sorry. What I mean is I'd love to hear the report of your triumph.

Cafe Pasadena said...

I hope & pray your family life is alive & well, MF. And, there are no lingering negatives.

Unfortunately, drama is part of everyone's life. Even the big entertainment biz wants to add drama to our lives!

I wunder if there is a Goddess who specializes in drama?

Desiree said...

This post makes me wanna get my Tough Girl on just for the halibut!

Shell Sherree said...

I'm glad to hear all's well there, Margaret. That's some kick-ass goddess you've provided ~ kind of a relief her hub was a jerk and made her choice a lot easier! There's one of those silver linings.

Olga said...

This is a great story and it's all inthe telling.

Little Messy Missy said...

Love it!!!!

Pasadena Adjacent said...

If Inana had forged a better relationship with her sister, she would not have ended up in hell.

... daisy... said...

Oh this is so cool! I love this one... Some (hopefully not many) men are such bastards, but she had her vengeance somehow... and he got what he deserved!!! Good onw!

Bec said...

Great story, complete with being impaled on a meat hook.

baffled human said...

Margaret - I could sure use a goddess that can help me stay fortified with hope and happiness while on the job.

林60102asai_sistrunk said...

Unable to give you a heart. so have a reply to push up your post. ........................................

Margaret said...

BF: I'm on it!

Raving Witch said...

Margaret,
You are absolutely fine. Thank you so much! My prayers are with you and your family!

TheChieftess said...

Now I know what was missing from my previous marriage!!! I desperately needed Inana!!! However, I did finally manage to move on...and am all the better for it!!! The Hubman is divine!!!