That girl needs to channel some Demeter. Demeter (Greek goddess of the harvest. Powerful mother figure) went all tough-mama when her daughter Persephone was dragged down to hell. She threatened to let all the plants die (and thus all living beings starve) if she didn't get her daughter back.
Lohan is definitely in hell, and she needs to find her inner tough-mama to fight for that really messed up little girl inside her. Her inner tough-mama needs to convince that girl that she deserves better than the fast track to personal parody. I think she must really hate herself. For that she needs Quan Yin, the Buddhist goddess of compassion. So really she needs a whole lot of goddesses.
I feel sorry for her.