So, I was hanging out with my good friend Gretchen Whipple, who, by a strange twist of cosmic fate, I have known practically my whole life. She has four kids, thirteen-year-old Jenny, ten-year-old twins Data and Spock, and two-year-old Jimmy. You have to sort of hate Gretchen because her four kids never fight or whine or pout. They win every award. They win so many awards, in fact, that now their schools have actually started a new category for them: the Whipple. They just give the award to whichever Whipple kid they want, and that way other parents don't get all mad that their kids never win anything. You'd think the Whipple kids would feel rivalry over at least the Whipple award, but they don't! They are just happy to see any Whipple up there winning something, plus they all have so many trophies they really don't care anymore.
Amazing as that is, this isn't even the most amazing thing about the Whipple children. The most amazing thing is that they recently started a rock band, ala the Jonas brothers or the Partridge family. They're called Whipplelash. Jenny plays the bass. Spock the drums, Jimmy and tambourine, and Data is the lead singer. Apparently, it's a little tough sometimes because Jimmy, being two, can't always keep the beat. Plus, he has a lisp so his back up vocals aren't always great, but the kids are so good that Gretchen and her French husband Henri, made this little CD of the kids. Somehow, the CD landed in the hands of some Disney executive who offered them their own TV show. But Jenny thought it would interfere with her advanced math class, so the family turned it down. Plus, they were a little worried that Jimmy would start hanging with the wrong crowd. (Those Disney toddlers are notorious for their "fast" ways.) Data and Spock were the only ones who were disappointed, but they quickly got over it by writing a screenplay that their CAA agent is shopping around.
Anyway, I just love Gretchen, and I love hearing about her perfect kids. Because, really, if you can't feel honest generosity toward your oldest and dearest friends, you must be some sort of a monster.