6/27/11

Whippleashed

The Partridge FamilyCover of The Partridge Family
So, I was hanging out with my good friend Gretchen Whipple, who, by a strange twist of cosmic fate, I have known practically my whole life. She has four kids, thirteen-year-old Jenny, ten-year-old twins Data and Spock, and two-year-old Jimmy. You have to sort of hate Gretchen because her four kids never fight or whine or pout. They win every award. They win so many awards, in fact, that now their schools have actually started a new category for them: the Whipple. They just give the award to whichever Whipple kid they want, and that way other parents don't get all mad that their kids never win anything. You'd think the Whipple kids would feel rivalry over at least the Whipple award, but they don't! They are just happy to see any Whipple up there winning something, plus they all have so many trophies they really don't care anymore.

Amazing as that is, this isn't even the most amazing thing about the Whipple children. The most amazing thing is that they recently started a rock band, ala the Jonas brothers or the Partridge family. They're called Whipplelash. Jenny plays the bass. Spock the drums, Jimmy and tambourine, and Data is the lead singer. Apparently, it's a little tough sometimes because Jimmy, being two, can't always keep the beat. Plus, he has a lisp so his back up vocals aren't always great, but the kids are so good that Gretchen and her French husband Henri, made this little CD of the kids. Somehow, the CD landed in the hands of some Disney executive who offered them their own TV show. But Jenny thought it would interfere with her advanced math class, so the family turned it down. Plus, they were a little worried that Jimmy would start hanging with the wrong crowd. (Those Disney toddlers are notorious for their "fast" ways.) Data and Spock were the only ones who were disappointed, but they quickly got over it by writing a screenplay that their CAA agent is shopping around.

Anyway, I just love Gretchen, and I love hearing about her perfect kids. Because, really, if you can't feel honest generosity toward your oldest and dearest friends, you must be some sort of a monster.
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15 comments:

Star said...

It's so whippleful :-) to see good friends get the success they merit. Thanks for this post.

Olga said...

Ha, ha, Margaret. Fantastic job of hiding those green fangs of envy, but some of us (more perceptive readers) will not be fooled.

Cafe Pasadena said...

Sounds like there's a sequel to the Partridge family here.

But a refreshing name change is needed for this new century:
The Whipple Family, or
The Finnegan Family

Margaret said...

The Whipples are, indeed, very Whippleful. They are also the subject of my new creative writing experience on Facebook. I'm calling it: Gretchen Whipple: Worst Facebook friend ever." To follow along, and even participate, go over to Facebook and "friend" Gretchen Whipple of Los Angeles. You'll recognize her as the half hidden woman dressed up like Princess Leia.

Margaret said...

Pup: I promise you, no one is singing over here.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

OK, I did but not without warning

Be careful when pulling off a conceptual roast. Feathers are easily ruffled.

That said, I lean towards "generosity" but then my longest friendships have never tested me in such a way.

Margaret said...

PA: I need a little more guidance. What do you mean? How will I ruffle feathers? Really?

altadenahiker said...

I can see it all now -- you in a chair, knitting peacefully, too peacefully, revealing nothing. Just a slight twist to the corner of your lips (left side) as the dust bunnies absorb your maniacal instructions. Whipple family, I have two words: Be ware.

Petrea Burchard said...

I don't know about ruffled feathers. I've never tried anything like it. I'm watching eagerly.

Is Gretchen related to Mr. Whipple? He used to be my neighbor, sort of.

Patrizzi Intergarlictica said...

Thanks, Margaret. That's real sweet commentary on friendship and loyalty.

Margaret said...

Petrea: I'm not sure about Gretchen's extended family, but I'm sure she'd love to think she was related.

Daisy said...

Margaret I wish I had such perfect friends ... or do I??? 8-)

I can't find Gretchen Whipple of Los Angeles at Facebook. Could you post a url?

Margaret said...

Good idea, Daisy: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002571339832

TheChieftess said...

I used to know a Whipple in high school...her nick name was Beanie!!! No lie...I don't even remember what her real name was!!!

Susan Campisi said...

I'm late for this post, but not too late to "friend" Gretchen Whipple. And thank god for that. I can tell I'm going to thoroughly enjoy disliking - I mean, getting to know her.