Ode to Tomatoes (With apologies to Pablo Neruda)

I'll share with you my story,
I'll share with you my wine,
But slip off with my homegrown tomato,
And I'll tie you up with vine.

Here, have another piece of cake!
Here, have something else that I might bake,
But, I swear, get any closer to my homegrown tomato,
And I'm going rip your head off and show it at your wake.

I would love you to take this gently used book,
I would love you to remember this heartfelt look,
But, I'm serious, that is my fricking tomato, and you are getting way too close.
Don't make me tear off your arms or hang you on a meat hook.

I'm glad that we can have to this time to wander and be free,
I'm glad that we can have this time to focus on you and me,
But--OK--now you're just pissing me off.  You're trying to take my tomato on purpose.
Put it back.  PUT IT BACK!

Oh my flipping God, You ate my tomato.
Rot-in tomato hell.


Vanda said...

I love tomatoes! They are my favorite fruit/vegetable in the whole wide world.

Great poem.

Susan Campisi said...

You must grow fabulous tomatoes! Your poem makes me want some.

Petrea Burchard said...

Gosh. I'm going to have to catch up on my Neruda.

Deb @ Paper Turtle said...

Phew. No way am I coming anywhere CLOSE to your tomatoes!

PS: They do look quite yummy! ;o)

Shell Sherree said...

I'm very much out of my depth here, Margaret, but thanks to you, I just discovered (a) Pablo Neruda always wrote with green ink, his personal colour of hope and (b) stealing tomatoes is a dangerous and heinous pastime.

Olga said...

Yes! It is tomato season here. Really, the only time it is worth eating a real tomato.

Jean Spitzer said...

My brother grows the tomatoes. I eat them.

Just came home and found my copy of your novel waiting for me.

Rois said...

Homegrown tomatoes are the best thing ever.

We are still waiting for ours and then I will be quoting you.

Ann Erdman said...

Even Pablo would agree you're a poetry savant!

Daisy said...

I'm discovering a rather war-like goddess in you Margaret. Those ARE nice tomatoes tho. May your garden continue to grow.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

pre-reading jitters?

Jaime...My Love said...

Haha! I wish I could give you some of mine, we can hardly keep up with them and actually I don't really like tomatoes, I grow them for my hubby. I wish I could get my hands on some of that citrus you guys have out there! When we went to L.A. I was amazed at the lemons growing on trees in people's yards, they're 50 cents each here!

Stacey said...

I love me this poem.

Ms M said...

Haha! I feel like that about GOOD tomatoes, too. (We have a real shortage of GOOD tomatoes in Idaho)

Now, what do you think about socks... ;-)

TheChieftess said...

Ms M...there's a shortage of good tomatoes everywhere!!! I know what you mean Margaret...homegrown are definitely best!!! I started buying heirloom tomatoes because they're the closest to real tomatoe flavor...but even those have been awful lately!!!