It is eight o'clock in the morning. The teenagers either sleep or furtively keep to their rooms. Making nary a sound, I have stolen the one iPad with cellular Internet service. A quick glance at Facebook reveals that many of my friends, blessedly, still wear the same earring size they wore in high school. Also, an adorable kitten has befriended a goldfish.
Oh, cruel world! To unfold such dramatic events when I have time traveled back to the wild and uncivilized 1990s.
Still, I am descended from the perseverant stock of raisin ranchers, military men, and drunkards. I will survive. But-- quick--a door! To the closet!