The birthday girl would like to make perfectly clear that she wants the following:
1. To sleep in.
2. To not have to look at any dirty dishes on her birthday.
3. To be surrounded by happy, angelic faces that are not complaining about her cooking.
She would like to further clarify that by happy, angelic faces she means more than actual faces. Happy, angelic faces should be attached to, if not happy, angelic bodies, at least bodies that do not exude a general disdain for the cursed circumstances of their lives, and by cursed circumstances she means everything they blame their mother for.
She would also like to clarify that by not looking at dirty dishes she means that the dirty dishes should not be simply hidden at the bottom of the sink. They should be in the dishwasher. That is the only place for them.
She would also like to clarify that by sleeping in she means that everyone should leave her alone for as long as she wants.
Also, the birthday girl would like extensive praise and exhibitions of gratitude for all she does, but she will settle for cake.*
*The Birthday Girl will not name names, but she would like to reassure her husband that this list is not about him. He is only good. He can, however, make her dinner. Also, she will allow Academy Award merriment to co-exist with her special dayness.
Let’s Get Classical
18 hours ago