Good News: Fashion Gets Fat

More good news!  In a stunning move, the gods of fashion have decided that you can, in fact, be too thin -- at least when it come to your lips.  Critics gasped audibly when runway models in this week's Paris Fashion Week sauntered across the catwalk with lips the size of actual cats.  When asked to explain, Alexander McQueen (the de facto leader of the movement against anorexic lips) said, "It's very simple, when we realized that the rustle of fashion week programs was blowing the models over, we needed to find some sort of ballast.  It was either lips or hats.  Or really big hair.  Or in some cases all three." 

Members of the French League of Le Makeup Artistes, however, dispute that this was simply a matter of applying practicality to design.  "It is clear," said Mimi Loreal, the League's president, "that this is a result of the global economic meltdown.  With the fashion industry floundering, designers decided to cut corners by firing professional makeup artists and replacing them with capuchin monkeys -- who literally work for peanuts."

But as a Vogue editor who preferred to remain nameless said, "It doesn't really matter why clown lips are making a comeback.  This is good news for lipstick makers and three-years-olds who break into their mother's makeup cabinets.  And what's good for lipstick makers and three- year-olds is always good for Vogue."  And -- I say -- America!