Good News: Fashion Gets Fat

More good news!  In a stunning move, the gods of fashion have decided that you can, in fact, be too thin -- at least when it come to your lips.  Critics gasped audibly when runway models in this week's Paris Fashion Week sauntered across the catwalk with lips the size of actual cats.  When asked to explain, Alexander McQueen (the de facto leader of the movement against anorexic lips) said, "It's very simple, when we realized that the rustle of fashion week programs was blowing the models over, we needed to find some sort of ballast.  It was either lips or hats.  Or really big hair.  Or in some cases all three." 

Members of the French League of Le Makeup Artistes, however, dispute that this was simply a matter of applying practicality to design.  "It is clear," said Mimi Loreal, the League's president, "that this is a result of the global economic meltdown.  With the fashion industry floundering, designers decided to cut corners by firing professional makeup artists and replacing them with capuchin monkeys -- who literally work for peanuts."

But as a Vogue editor who preferred to remain nameless said, "It doesn't really matter why clown lips are making a comeback.  This is good news for lipstick makers and three-years-olds who break into their mother's makeup cabinets.  And what's good for lipstick makers and three- year-olds is always good for Vogue."  And -- I say -- America!


Kate said...

I wonder if this has been influenced by octo-mom and her quest for Angelina Jolie-esque lips?

Palm Axis said...

That video was spectacular. Did you see the use of the Escher pattern A (birds in flight) on the material? Oh...and that tweaked out George Washington number? wow, I would pay to see that show


Lynne said...

Well that video was just bloglorious to the 10,000 power! If I have nightmares tonight it's your fault.

I will pay you $50 if you do your lips that way and go to the grocery store!

Desiree said...

You are hilarious!

altadenahiker said...

Oh fine. Just when my big fat lips were looking stylish...

Margaret said...

Katie: Poor octo-mom. I feel sorry for her.

PA: That's why you're an artist and I'm not. I was fixated on clown lips; you saw the beauty of design.

Lynne: Keep your money. I'll pay you!

D: Right back at you.

AH: You are always stylish.

Petrea said...

This...oh. I don't know. Nothing's changed. Even the music is the same stuff they were playing at these shows in the 1980s. The clothes are the same, too. I don't know if anything can be cutting edge anymore.

Except those lips, baby, those are NEW! That's the ticket! We'll all be wearing 'em by summer, you betcha.


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