Let the world know you as you are,
not as you think you should be
because sooner or later,
if you are posing, you will forget the pose,
and then where are you?
The truth is, I lied. I am a poser, and now I must come clean. I do not have a Mangalitsa pig named Litsa. I do not have a pig at all. I have never had a pig, and if I ever did have a pig I would never plan to eat it. I feel guilty leaving my dog alone for more than a few hours at a time; how could I ever muster the steely resolve to eat my own pet pig? If I actually had one.
You knew I was lying, didn't you? I thought so. But, apparently, some people didn't. I got an email from an actual breeder of Mangalitsa pigs. He wanted to know if I really had one. When I said no, he offered to throw one on the truck for me because he was sending a bunch to LA anyway. He was very nice, and I felt bad that I had lied.
Fanny Brice is right. Liars never prosper. Cheaters never win. And an imaginary pig will never cede you any bacon.
Sigh. Poor Litsa. I miss her already.
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