Let the world know you as you are,
not as you think you should be
because sooner or later,
if you are posing, you will forget the pose,
and then where are you?
The truth is, I lied. I am a poser, and now I must come clean. I do not have a Mangalitsa pig named Litsa. I do not have a pig at all. I have never had a pig, and if I ever did have a pig I would never plan to eat it. I feel guilty leaving my dog alone for more than a few hours at a time; how could I ever muster the steely resolve to eat my own pet pig? If I actually had one.
You knew I was lying, didn't you? I thought so. But, apparently, some people didn't. I got an email from an actual breeder of Mangalitsa pigs. He wanted to know if I really had one. When I said no, he offered to throw one on the truck for me because he was sending a bunch to LA anyway. He was very nice, and I felt bad that I had lied.
Fanny Brice is right. Liars never prosper. Cheaters never win. And an imaginary pig will never cede you any bacon.
Sigh. Poor Litsa. I miss her already.
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11 comments:
Thats kind of funny about the pig seller ... should I believe you?
Fanny's son William Brice was a well known painter and art professor at UCLA. He died last year.
Back to gardening (I'm planting snap peas)
Holy smoked bacon, bat girl--do I smell the scent of burning guilt?
Dammit, Janet, you're a writer, and a fiction writer at that! Remember, truth is at the heart of our lies--I mean fiction.
So, how much was he gonna charge you for the living breathing oinkster destined for pig heaven?
Hmmm, so if you are a poser, then it wouldn't be true to yourself not to pose. But I think that you should be who ever you want to be and that's who you are, so that isn't really posing is it?
Of course telling a lie about a pig will get you nothing but trouble. Because sooner or later the universe will see that you must really want a pig if you are always pretending you have one and then BOOM, you'll fine a lost pig on your doorstep. Becareful what you pretend to wish for!
Hey, when you pull wool over our eyes, at least you make it cashmere. I totally thought you had a pig!
Now I miss Litsa!
I think we have the makings of a sitcom on our hands - "I Love Litsa"
PA: You should believe me.
Dez: I didn't ask.
Lynne: "Telling a lie about a pig will get you nothing but trouble." That may return some wise women Friday.
Laurie: I miss her too.
Susan: Love it.
I think I am out of touch with blogging as I missed all this stuff about the pig. So I can't say I feel too upset. Just a little confused.
I once had a blog where I wrote as someone else. I did it for several weeks but then I got to emailing someone and despite the fact that I had said it was fiction on my sidebar they were horribly upset and thought it was a bad thing to have done. And yet, it was just for writing practice. It seems that on a blog you have to write the truth - not the whole truth maybe.
Funny things blogs.
That's a crackling rib-tickler, Margaret!
For the record, I did believe you had a pig named Litsa.
Not for a moment did I believe you'd eat her, though.
You swine!
Oooh, YES, you do! You do have a pig!
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