Me, Me, Me! It's all about Me!

Can't get your fill of marvelous me? I've got you covered!

1. Hear me read my personal essay "The Reel Classroom," at I Pretend, a spoken word event featuring cool writers at SPACE this Saturday, April 13 from 7:30 to 9:00 PM. Adults only. Suggested donation $5. 1506 Mission Street, South Pasadena, CA. 91030. Phone: 626/441-4788.

2.  Read my story "Genius Unleashed" in the new anthology Literary Pasadena, which also features stories by such acclaimed writers as Michelle Huneven, Victoria Patterson and the always charming Petrea Burchard. (Full disclosure: "Genius Unleashed" is a reworking of my story "Creation," which some of you may have read elsewhere.)

3. Visit me at the LA Times Festival of Books, Saturday, April 20, from noon to one o'clock, where I will be signing copies of Literary Pasadena at the Prospect Park Books booth. USC Campus.

4.  I think it is time that I remind you that Mother's Day is just a month away. What better way to celebrate the moms you love than with a copy of The Goddess Lounge, a story of love, motherhood, a lot of dogs, tons of traffic, a few modern-day monsters and a little divine intervention.

5. You have until the 15th of this month to post a picture of the ugliest shoes of the season. The winner will get eternal glory and an as yet undetermined prize of very little worth. I know that's a little off topic, but I'm just saying...

6. Enough about me. Did I mention that you are rocking those sweat pants! You look fabulous. Stop losing weight already! You're shaming all of us!

7. Wondering about the picture? That's me (looking haggard) and my sweet teen E (looking adorable) at Disneyland a few weeks back. She's a cutie!

Walk this Way! Shoes that are kind of awful

This spring, the well-trod women will let her feet do the talking.

On your way to the top? No glass ceiling will stop you in these spiked sandals, although you might impale small co-workers or even amputate a pinky toe when fetching your morning latte. ($40)

Talk about March madness! High tops meet high heels! Three points just for the color alone! ($165)

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto! The 80s are back. Chill in these pink dreams. Very good if you have bird ankles. ($90)

Boots! Floral! Wide laces! You don't need to be Laura Ingalls Wilder to look good milking your cow in these babies. Best news of all: They double as mud flaps! ($160)

The blue metallic says, "Kiss my icy lips." The primary color print says, "I don't believe in coloring in the lines." ($80)

Reptilian textured meets graffiti. It says, "I live for danger! ($100)

Breathtaking! I defy you to find an uglier shoe. ($195)

Wanna have fun! I dare you to post the ugliest Spring 2013 shoe you can find. (Details: You will win a prize that is practically worthless, but the glory will be more than you can possibly imagine. I get to chose the winner, although input will be accepted. You have to post it by April 15th.)

PS: All shoes available at Nordstorm. Buy at your own risk.