Letter to Planet Earth

Dear Earth:

I know you are feeling a little hot under the collar these days.  I know you are mad about the whole carbon glutton thing, what with the cars and the gassy cows.  And I know you are pissed about deforestation.  It's a drag.  Really.  No trees = bad.  I get it.  These things get my tectonic plates jittering too.

But I'm just wondering if you're starting to take things a little too personally.  You know that saying "It's not all about you"?  Well...it's not.  

Ok!  I can tell by the fact that it just started hailing on my house that you found that a bit upsetting.  Understandable.  Totally my fault.  I have this problem called tactlessness.  I'm working on it.  Believe me.  But hear me out.   What I mean to say is that sometimes our problems seem less overwhelming when we look at a more universal perspective.  When I start to feel bad about the fact that I passed the bad at math gene onto my children, I try and remember that my time in this world is really very short.  The space I take up in this universe is really very small.  Do I really want to use my candle flicker of an existence lamenting the bad math gene?  No. Of course not.  

Likewise, you are a lovely planet.  You are very beautiful.  Everyone says so.  But you, too, are part of a larger cosmos.  Right?  And the cosmos is not all about you, is it?  No.  It's not.  So, while your problems are very frustrating, in the universal, time-space continuum scheme of things, they do not define you.  You had a noble history before your recent woes, and you will have a noble history after they pass (although the interim will be unpleasant for those of us weathering it out).  And now -- as always -- you are part of something bigger, something that you contribute to in your own special, groovy blue-green way, something that smells remarkably like raspberries.  

So, chill out.  Maybe meditate a little bit; it reduces seismic pressure and gives you a sunny -- but not too sunny -- outlook.  Remember: it's all good.  You're all good.