7/19/10

Goddess of the Week: Psyche

Jess, poor Jess, needs a goddess to help her deal with a nosy, difficult mother-in-law. I have the perfect one for you, Jess: the Greek goddess Psyche.

Psyche is one of the few women who actually married up to become a goddess. She was born a princess, and she was so beautiful that people began to compare her to the goddess of love, Aphrodite. Worst, yet, Psyche was stupid enough to let them. Now you can do a lot things in life, but letting yourself be compared to a god is just asking for trouble.

Aphrodite was so insulted that she sent her son Eros to humiliate Psyche. Here was the plan: Eros was supposed to shoot Psyche with a love arrow right when she was looking at the most disgusting, grodo guy imaginable. Psyche would fall in love with grodo, thus humiliating herself and setting the stage for all your basic Angelina Jolie/Billy Bob Thornton scenarios. BUT! Eros, shot himself with the arrow and fell hard for Psyche. He whisked her away, they had a wild secret relationship, and then, as happens, everything went to hell. Aphrodite found out, locked Eros in his bedroom, and set her sights on her rival.

She said to Psyche, "Go to hell." She meant it too. She actually pulled out a map and showed Psyche the way. "And when you get there," she added, "Bring me back some Eternal Beauty cold cream. It's my favorite. If you can do this, you can marry Eros."

Here's the rub: Mortals can only get to hell by dying. And the getting back part? Not so easy. Cuz your dead. Luckily for Psyche, Athena -- who really always hated Aphrodite -- told her how to get to and from hell without actually dying. So Psyche goes, gets the cold cream, brings it back, and Aphrodite was all, "Durn."

Aphrodite had no choice but to let Psyche marry Eros. Psyche became a goddess, moved to Mount Olympus, and lived mostly happily ever after. Family holidays were always a drag. Pyche never did work things out with her mother-in-law, and -- to the end -- Eros was a bit of a Mama's Boy. But that was cool because Psyche started a whole Cold Cream business and became, like, the Helena Rubenstein of Olympus.

The lesson here is that difficult mother-in-laws are as guaranteed as death and taxes. The smart woman listens to Athena and makes sound financial investments. With her profits, she takes her family to Hawaii for the holidays.

Channel this goddess: When your mother-in-law goes all psycho-bitch. Nobody needs this. Keep your cool. Do not go to hell and back to please her. It's not worth it.

Need a goddess: Post a comment and I will find you what you need. I look forward to your request.

21 comments:

Em said...

1. You really are talented at updating these stories! Love it!
2. There are some of us (future m-i-l in my case) who are determined to be good m-i-l's. I want my son happy. And I think having a happy wife is one way to assist in that. My future d-i-l is awesome.

Margaret said...

Em: I am so glad you brought this up, because, of course, you are right. Although I hate to brag, I actually have a wonderful mother-in-law. I just adore her.

Daisy said...

Oh Margaret! That was better than any soap opera on tv! And I'm sure it will inspire Em to be the best m-in-l ever!

Stacey Smith said...

Sometimes I wish I was videotaping myself as I'm reading your posts. You'd see me all laughing and having a good time. Thanks, Margaret.

Desiree said...

ooooh, ooh, the moral of the story as told by Margaret is the best!!!

BonnieS said...

Oh, how I wish I'd known to channel Psyche when I was married! Thanks, Margaret, for making me laugh AGAIN!

Jess said...

Thanks! I needed that!

Shell Sherree said...

I'm glad to say, I don't have a personal need for this one ~ but good to know. And a nice Cold Cream always comes in handy.

陳佑發 said...

人們不缺少力量,他們缺少意志。..................................................

Deb said...

LOVE. THIS. POST. :o) I was lucky enough to have a great mother-in-law (she's gone now) but there were always undertones of...I don't know...some sort of disapproval? Maybe it was just her personality - or my paranoia. Anyway! I hope someday to be an AWESOME M.I.L. myself. ;o)

altadenahiker said...

All's well that ends well, especially when it ends in Hawaii.

... daisy... said...

HAahaahahahahah I loved the "She sent her to hell and took out a map to show her the way" I think I will laugh forever now... translated into Italian it sounds so good... I will use it with my colleagues, but no copyright infringement as I will say where it came from! :-DDD
Anyway... My boyfriend's mums were all lovely, but then I only lived with their sons... and never got married... maybe that's the point... as long as you're not married you're not dangerous? mmmmm... GREAT POST Margaret!

Rois said...

My M.I.L is a demon,under all of her layers and layers of hair and make up is her true demon face.
She is so crazy my husband handed her a map to Hell that did not show her the way back.
So with this experience under my belt I plan on being the best M.I.L EVER. And I will always have the secert pleasure that if I don't like the D.I.L I don't have to live her.Well at least not until I am a crazy old old lady and then it won't matter,I am crazy and old I can say what I like.

pasadenapio said...

Dang. I shoulda married up.

Olga said...

I love these goddess stories, but I didn't realize it was not okay to compare ones' self to a goddess. Maybe that explains some things that have gone wrong in my life. Hmm.

claire said...

Great great story! Thank you!
I am a mother-in-law myself...

Petrea said...

I hear such awful stories from other people but I lucked out in the mother-in-law department. She is a goddess--the good kind.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

I buried my in laws. Bet Mr V would like to bury his

洪瑋婷洪瑋婷 said...

絕不要羞於承認自己不知道的事。..................................................

gaelikaa said...

Wow! I totally needed to read this post! Strange - Aphrodite must have some Indian background...

Paula L. Johnson said...

Wow, the power of one word to trigger a memory! Psyche --> Cupid & Psyche --> a great CD by the new wave band Scritti Politti.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs7Jy2y-33A