Goddess of the Week: Psyche

Jess, poor Jess, needs a goddess to help her deal with a nosy, difficult mother-in-law. I have the perfect one for you, Jess: the Greek goddess Psyche.

Psyche is one of the few women who actually married up to become a goddess. She was born a princess, and she was so beautiful that people began to compare her to the goddess of love, Aphrodite. Worst, yet, Psyche was stupid enough to let them. Now you can do a lot things in life, but letting yourself be compared to a god is just asking for trouble.

Aphrodite was so insulted that she sent her son Eros to humiliate Psyche. Here was the plan: Eros was supposed to shoot Psyche with a love arrow right when she was looking at the most disgusting, grodo guy imaginable. Psyche would fall in love with grodo, thus humiliating herself and setting the stage for all your basic Angelina Jolie/Billy Bob Thornton scenarios. BUT! Eros, shot himself with the arrow and fell hard for Psyche. He whisked her away, they had a wild secret relationship, and then, as happens, everything went to hell. Aphrodite found out, locked Eros in his bedroom, and set her sights on her rival.

She said to Psyche, "Go to hell." She meant it too. She actually pulled out a map and showed Psyche the way. "And when you get there," she added, "Bring me back some Eternal Beauty cold cream. It's my favorite. If you can do this, you can marry Eros."

Here's the rub: Mortals can only get to hell by dying. And the getting back part? Not so easy. Cuz your dead. Luckily for Psyche, Athena -- who really always hated Aphrodite -- told her how to get to and from hell without actually dying. So Psyche goes, gets the cold cream, brings it back, and Aphrodite was all, "Durn."

Aphrodite had no choice but to let Psyche marry Eros. Psyche became a goddess, moved to Mount Olympus, and lived mostly happily ever after. Family holidays were always a drag. Pyche never did work things out with her mother-in-law, and -- to the end -- Eros was a bit of a Mama's Boy. But that was cool because Psyche started a whole Cold Cream business and became, like, the Helena Rubenstein of Olympus.

The lesson here is that difficult mother-in-laws are as guaranteed as death and taxes. The smart woman listens to Athena and makes sound financial investments. With her profits, she takes her family to Hawaii for the holidays.

Channel this goddess: When your mother-in-law goes all psycho-bitch. Nobody needs this. Keep your cool. Do not go to hell and back to please her. It's not worth it.

Need a goddess: Post a comment and I will find you what you need. I look forward to your request.