5/4/11

The Scout Report: National Security And the Market


As you make your investment choices for the season, please remember that national security always affects economic developments. The safer the backyard, the better the garden grows, as it were.

With this in mind, it is worth remembering that barking protects YOU. Only deluded do-gooders with their heads in the clouds see it as "invasive," "loud," "annoying," "excessive." The same is also true of sniffing. Is your "guest" hiding something "up there?" I could tell you if you'd just back off with "sit," "stay" already.

Now is the time to increase, not decrease, our defenses. And by that I mean, it is time to implement code "dark gray," wherein you keep the front door open so that I can sit on the porch and "observe" suspicious "neighbors" and, of course, keep a close on eye on local hostiles: the cats.

In regards to the market, safety always translates into dollars. In particular, increasing attention to the defense budget, via a more liberal distribution of "num nums," should positively impact the nation's mood, and, hence, consumer spending.

16 comments:

altadenahiker said...

Clearly, you have your paw on the pulse of America. As to barking, mine is so horrific, it even scares me. And it scares my roommate. She tells me, "For god sakes, shut up." But god doesn't protect silly creatures. That's my job.

--Albert the Lab

altadenahiker said...

continued...

Scout, the secret is, lull them into thinking you're a baritone, then leap without warning to soprano. Warble in the upper register, like you're a mezzo-soprano on steroids. Hold it long enough and treats are guaranteed.

(And she calls me stupid.)

--ATL

Jean Spitzer said...

More num-nums: that should do the trick.

Paula said...

Scout, tilt your head just so and all will be forgiven. And I feel you brother, I'm on Code Dark Gray alert 365/24/7 and they could care less. I feel it's my duty.

Ranger Dog, Esq

Tony Van Helsing said...

How does leg humping fit into this analogy?

Olga said...

The neighbors ar not buying it. Sorry, Scout, but Brucie and his brother really are just annoying twits.

Susan Campisi said...

Tommy agrees with everything in The Scout Report, particularly the bit about keeping an eye on local hostiles, the cats.

Petrea Burchard said...

Boz would respond but yesterday he patrolled the neighborhood for sidewalk num nums, which had to be redistributed in the back yard like land mines between 2 and 4 a.m.

claire said...

A fabulous report. Thank you. And so very true. I very much like the 'dark grey' level :-)

Shell Sherree said...

I'm pretty grateful for the neighbourhood patrols here ~ my yard is not technically within the perimeter, but lies within the protectorate. And I don't even contribute to the num-num funding. Bless each bark.

MelRoXx said...

This is so true. National Security is important.

Margaret said...

Albert: Scout would like you to know that she can actually just look at the treat box, then at me, then at the treat box. How much more clear can it be! Yet, still I deny her (most of the time). Turns out she has to lose 5 pounds!

Ranger Dog: Scout is expert at the head tilting. That really is irresistible and can often lead to treats.

Tony: Scout is a girl dog and is appalled at your language!

Olga: Brucie and his brother ARE twits. Everyone at the water bowl is talking about it.

Susan: Those cats ARE hostile. It's like they know Scout is on a leash!

Shell: So glad you understand.

Pasadena Adjacent said...

I've never had a dog. Must be why I've come close to economic ruin.

Country Girl said...

Great report Scout! I will share it with our canine police on this end!

Cafe Pasadena said...

Def when u think of national security u should also thing of K9's.

Deb @ PaperTurtle said...

:o) Such a cute post, Margaret. One of my most embarrassing moments was going to a beautiful beach house with a date {years ago} and having the host open the door with his golden retriever by his side. The dog quickly shoved his nose right up the front of the short skirt I was wearing. Oh...hello? Gotta' love those pups!